Starving; A Sherlock Fanfic

Nightmares

John's POV

The darkness and silence in my room seemed to compete in intensity. I laid in the eerie stillness as minutes turned to hours, tossing and turning. I hadn't been sleeping well for the past few weeks... for many reasons. Sometime around two am, I heard a thud come from downstairs along with muffled speaking.

The voice became louder, it sounded frantic and scared. A loud shout made me jump up, certain it was Sherlock. Had someone broken in? Was someone hurt? I raced down the stairs and into the living room. The noise was definitely coming from Sherlock's room. I knocked on the door, but the shouting and banging only continued. Throwing open the door, I saw Sherlock thrashing around in his bed. It sounded like he kept repeating things like "no" and "don't" as if he was begging and pleading with someone.

"Sherlock?!" I ran to his side, shaking him awake. He jumped up and flung himself out of the bed, pushing me away. He scrambled to the corner, still shouting and kicking. I backed away as he began to stop shouting, now mumbling protests and panting. He lifted his head and looked around wildly.

"Sherlock?" I lowered my voice to a half-whisper, "Sherlock, are you alright?"

His eyes snapped towards me, as if realizing I was there for the first time. He squinted at me and breathed a sigh of relief, before shakily getting to his feet and clearing his throat, although his voice still trembled slightly when he spoke.

"I'm... I'm fine I just... Just..." He trailed off, "Excuse me..." He darted out of the room and into the bathroom, locking the door behind him.

I waited outside the door, grimacing as I heard him empty his stomach. Then heavy breathing and running water. I gently knocked on the door, which slowly creaked open after a few seconds, revealing a pale and and shaken Sherlock. He stood stiffly, jaw clenched, his eyes looked afraid, broken and cold all at once. He shifted his gaze to the floor and we stood in silence for a moment.

Finally, I placed my hand gently on his shoulder and pulled him into a hug, he tensed but soon relaxed, crumpling into me. Burying his head in the crook of my neck and clinging to my arms. I ran my hand through his hair in attempt to sooth him.

"Come on, I'll make tea." I whispered and lead him over to a chair. Filling the kettle with water, I set it on the stove. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Sherlock paused for a second, thinking, before shrugging and staying quiet. Tear tracks on his cheeks, trembling slightly and keeping his eyes closed. I sat down across from him and watched. His breathing had steadied and the color was slowly returning to his face. We sat in silence until the tea was done.

"Sherlock," Pushing a cup in front of him, "You know I'm here for you... Yes?" He nodded, starting at the cup.

"Yes..." He replied.

"And you don't have to talk about it... But I'll listen if you do." He shook his head slowly and reached for his tea. And again we fell into silence for another half an hour. By the time either of us moved it was 3:15 in the morning, my eyes began to feel heavy and I rested my head against my hand.

"It's getting late, do you want to go back to sleep?" He nodded again.

I lead him back to his room, and he sat on the edge of his bed, sighing. I turned to walk back to the door but felt his fingers loosely wrap around my arm.

"Please... Don't... Don't leave...?" He gazed down at the floor. His face looked pale still, his eyes red and bloodshot, and his hands shaking slightly.

"Okay... I'm here, it's alright." I turned toward him, hesitating before climbing into bed next to him. I laid stiffly, hearing him lay down and relax.

"I'm sorry..." He wispered in the dark, "I didn't want you to see... That..."

"It's alright, you have nothing to be sorry for," I wispered back, "just try to sleep now."

He went quiet for a while, I listened as his breathing became deep and steady. He turned toward me, resting his head on my chest and his hand finding my stomach. I put my arm around his shoulders and gently pulled him closer, placing my other hand on top of his. Finally, under the warm blanket and Sherlock next to me, I drifted off into a peaceful sleep.

------------------

Gah! Sorry it's been so long, guys! It's been stressful, but I hope you enjoy this chapter!