Gloom Boys. Gawsten ✔

♡30♡

geoff's soft brunette hair swayed back and forth in the wind. the hair that awsten loved to play with so much. "i hope our kids have as soft hair as you do, not saying gracies's hair isn't soft, just yours is softer." he said one night.
their friend gracie had asked if they needed someone to carry their kids because she would be more then happy to. oh yeah, they planned on having kids in a few years, they were both 24 so in a few years it'd be a nice time to start the family they both wanted so badly. that plan went down in flames just like geoff's emotions. "did he want to die in my arms?" he'd ask himself.
"he didn't want to die not having control, otto. it wasn't a nice death for him to have!" for a week or so the brunette got pissed at everyone and everything.
he apologized after words. he wasn't the only one who was a mess though, otto was struggling to go to sleep, eat, just take care of himself. jawn is struggling with staying calm, his anxiety eating away at him quickly. travis showed no emotions anymore, said nothing, did nothing. kellin and vic could do nothing, they were trying their best to get through it together but it wasn't working. kellin would stay up all night crying, vic cutting everyone off. alex and jack barely played their shows fully anymore, pulling on their best fake smiles possible. everyone was just a huge fucking mess.

they all sat outside now, slightly grateful for the shade at the cemetery. the summer heat was beating down on them in their black suits. tears streamed down everyone's faces, for once even travis was showing emotions. geoff was standing there, tears going down his face and pooling at the collar of his shirt. he fiddled with the promise ring on his own finger and held onto awsten's ring tightly. awsten told everyone he'd rather be bared in a cemetery, something was so beautiful about them and he wanted to be apart of that beauty. so here they were, forever planting their best friend and one's boyfriend underground. none of them wanted to do this but they had to speak, at least say something, they owed it to themselves and awsten to. they all went until one person was left, geoff. he had made sure it was okay with everyone that he did this, but he pulled out awsten's song journal and found the one he said he was most proud of and wanted to sing it for him. they had both agreed they'd sing for each other together one day, and it just had to be a my chemical romance song because their the most beautiful band to walk this earth but that never happened either. he wasn't singing loud enough for anyone to hear, he was too far away and was whispering so if awsten could still hear he'd be the only one to hear him.

"it's kinda messed up..."

that was the last day they saw him in person. they all came home to the same house that night, seeing as they all planned to stay for 3 nights. a few cried, a few smiled at the memories, a few stayed silent and didn't show emotion. "the last time i was here awsten was yelling at us for cheating at monopoly." alex said with a sad smile.
"then begged us to play uno with us which surprisingly he won." kellin replied.
"that was fun." geoff mumbled.
majority smiled sadly at each other, other still not showing anything.

none of them knew how much one of them wanted to die that day.