Possession [s.m]

17.

•shawn•

Every word that she spits at me is knocking at the door of Master Mendes' house.

Master Mendes; the cold-hearted man who abused Rebecca. Had a gang of his own, so he didn't give a fuck about committing any crime because he'd have his gang to keep him safe. The one who killed, and didn't feel a thing.

Now, the girl that I love, is knocking at his door and he doesn't want to come out, but it's only a matter of seconds until he eventually opens it.

"Does that hurt you Shawn? It's true. It hurts you to believe that maybe we weren't meant to be and it's just a disease I gave in my brain that's making me feel this way." She sneers, harshly pointing to her head like she's lost her fucking mind.

Another knock.

It does hurt. It hurts to know that the only woman I've ever loved possibly doesn't love me back.

All those times she said I love you to me, was it fake? Did she mean them or was it this fucking disease that is making her say them, like she claims?

"I know what it is." She continues, when I thought she was finally done. "You gave up the one thing that gave you power; your gang. So you intimidate me because it gives you power."

Another knock.

She's right, she's got it all figured out before I could figure it out myself.

I live for power, that's just who I am. But she fell in love with me, so she fell in love with all of me. Then again, she possibly didn't even fall in love.

I think that's why I'm still so against her going to college. I want her to be wrapped right around my finger. I don't want her to go to college, then get a job, because any amount of freedom she gets, is freedom away from me.

She can't leave me, she can never leave me.

It sounds fucked up, I know, but it's just the truth. Rebecca is the only person that I've had such strong feelings for, and she can't leave me. I promised her that, one year ago, and it won't change now.

Her words keep going. They keep knocking at Master Mendes' door.

The old me would slap her to her senses for speaking to him this way, when in really her words just hurt him, and he would win against her but violence.

He's..he's far gone though. He's not me anymore, and I won't let him open the door.

"You think power makes you a man, Shawn? Wake the hell up, because it's only making you a bitch!"

Just as I thought I could lock the door closed, the door opens and his hands wrap around Rebecca's throat.

All my eyes see is red, and pure satisfaction runs through my body that I've finally let him out of the cage he was in.

Her eyes are wide and have such a despair in them, signifying that I've finally got the power.

When I let her go, watching her be completely weak after what I've done to her gives me even more power, and I leave the room.

My eyes still only see red, my heart is beating out of my chest and every nerve in my body is awake.

There's no coming back from this, Master Mendes will be out for a while.

I liked the old me, but I changed for her. I did a complete three sixty turn, got rid of my gang, almost died, all for her. Now that she possibly doesn't love me anymore, there's no point in trying. No fucking point.

I grab my hand gun that I hid before putting on my shoes and walk to my car. This is what I do; when I'm pissed, I do fucked up shit like go around killing people. It's fucked up, but it's who I am. I'm a fucked up person.

For hours and hours, I drive down the empty streets, my high only getting better and better by the second.

The sudden image of Rebecca while I choke the breath out of her, and she doesn't even fight back, comes to my head.

I try to blink it away, but it doesn't leave.

My car comes to a stop and I pull on my hair lightly.

What the fuck did I just do?

***

When I get home, my previous adrenaline is replaced by a force slowing me down and weakening me.

I put my hands on Rebecca, I really fucking put my hands on her. I didn't even make a promise to myself that I wouldn't do that anymore, because the thought of doing something like that didn't even cross my mind.

As soon as I realized I was in love with her, I would do everything for the rest of my life to show her that I do.

Her eyes full of despair while I choke her is all I see, and I almost fall to my knees.

I check the room for her but she isn't there, so I check her old room and there she is.

In a small ball, her back facing me, while her hands clenching the sheets and I can hear small whimpers coming from her.

I did this to her.

Not being able to stop myself, I climb in bed with her and bring her close to me, more for my own sake than hers.

She whimpers even more at my touch, and when I see her face, it's drenched in tears that I've caused. She has been crying for hours now, and it's all of my fucking fault.

"I'm so sorry, Rebecca. I-I can't even tell you how sorry I am." I try to keep myself together but fail. I'm a full on crying mess now, but I could care less.

I fucking hurt the only girl I've ever loved in my life.

I've made it my mission in life to protect her, but I failed to protect her from myself.

I sob into her neck until she turns around and faces me. Her eyes are still sad and she still looks afraid of me, but she places her hands on each side of my face and looks up at me with her glossy eyes.

"It's okay, Shawn. I forgive you." She comforts me, her words filling an emptiness inside of me.

"You do?" I question and she nods. "You're not afraid of me?"

She shakes her head before pulling my head to her chest, running her fingers through my hair in the most soothing manner.

I don't deserve her, I really don't.

"I love you, Rebecca."

"I love you too."

Then I fall asleep to the light strokes of her fingers in my hair and the loud beating of her heart, signifying that she's still afraid of me.

If I pretend that she's not afraid though, maybe it will make it true.

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Hope you liked this chapter, like I had to write a chapter of what happened in his point of view.

I'm sooo mad at the both of them, I just want to fight them like rn!!