In My Blood (Posie)

Nervous

*Present Day*

I saw you on a Sunday in a cafe and all you did was look my way

Josie was sat at the counter of a local coffee shop. Her head was down as she scribbled away in her journal. She'd written eight songs for her album (all written mostly about a certain girl due to her best friend MG's gentle prodding a few weeks ago), but she felt like there was something missing. Over and over again, she'd try and write a few lines only to scrap the whole idea all together and start anew.

She tried writing about Hope. The two of them were together for a little over a year before Josie had to come clean about not being able to give her all to Hope. The girl understood. Although heartbroken, she sorta expected it. Josie wanted to still be her friend because she really did enjoy her company and liked her as a person, but Hope said it was best if they separated for a while. The thought of the conversation ran through her head over and over again, she thought surely she could write a song about it.

"I appreciate your honesty. I knew from the start that Penelope would always have a hold on your heart, but I thought we could work through that." Hope voiced.

"I wish that she didn't. You were so good to me. You're patient, kind, understanding, loyal, and every other word you could use to describe the perfect girlfriend. I tried so hard to love you back in the way that you love me, but I can't. And I know that it's not fair to you which is why I have to do this." Josie wiped away at her tear streaked face.

Hope sadly nodded, her face was stained with tears too.

"Can we still be friends at least? Despite everything, I would still like to hang out with you. You were a really good friend to me." Josie tried.

Hope sighed. "Josie, I honestly wish we could, but I can't be your friend. Not right now, at least."

"What? Why?" Asked Josie.

Hope pursed her lips trying to think of an easy way to put this. "The same reason why you couldn't be just friends with Penelope."

Josie tilted her head to the side not quite following. Hope let out another sigh. "You can't be just friends with someone you're in love with."

"Hope, please." Josie attempted, reaching for her now ex-girlfriend.

The other girl shook her head and pulled her hand away. "Please, Josie. This is hard enough already, please let me go."

Josie watched with sad eyes as Hope began to gather her belongings. She silently walked her to the door of her apartment. Just before she left, Hope said one final thing. "I'd really like it if we could be friends one day. We were friends first after all. I think it'll be fun to see it come full circle."

Josie gave a half smile. "I would love that. But until then, I'll give you all the space you need. I'm sorry for everything." Hope reciprocated the small smile before she turned away and Josie softly shut the door behind her. Josie immediately put her back to the door and slid down to the floor breaking down in tears.

The memory ended and she'd grown frustrated. She thought that emotional memory could be channelled into her music, but every time she couldn't find the right words to say.

She tried writing about how she reconnected with Hope again, recently actually. About a month ago, Hope had reached out to her after radio silence for almost two years. Their friendship was still a bit awkward but Josie learned that Hope had successfully gotten over her feelings for Josie. Josie was jealous that Hope was able to tuck away her feelings for her because her feelings for Penelope, despite not having seen her for about two and a half years, were still there. Hope had gushed to her that she was actually seeing someone new. Josie listened with a wide smile and a genuine interest. Her name was Hailee and she met her at work and things just fell into place after that. Hope and Hailee had been together for only seven months, but Hope said that things feel so right with her. Josie was really happy for her friend that she was able to find the happiness that she deserved. Hope told her about how incredible Hailee was to her. Josie couldn't get over how ecstatic she was that her friend had been able to find someone that could honestly give her all to her.