In My Blood (Posie)

[Epilogue] Like To Be You

Don't cry, or do whatever makes you feel comfortable. I'm tired too.

After rereading the card that Penelope had wrote at least five times, she came to her senses. She darted off the couch and hastily grabbed her keys off of the counter. She ran barefoot out the door to chase after Josie. She figured that she'd be long gone by now. She didn't see her in the hallway or in the lobby. She ran out into the parking lot and searched for her. Penelope must've ran to the end of the parking lot before she pressed her hands to her face, ready to give up. With a heavy heart, she began retreating back to her apartment. Except, on the way back she saw the familiar car that she hadn't noticed on her frantic search for the girl. There, she saw Josie crying in her car.

Penelope figured she had nothing left to lose. So, she took a deep breath in, gathering up what was left of her courage and made her way over to the car. Hesitantly, Penelope knocked at the window. Josie must not have noticed her coming her way because of the way that she got startled at the sudden noise. Josie started wiping away her tears, trying her hardest to look presentable. She took a shaky breath in before she rolled down her window.

There's nothin' left to say, let's call a truce. 'Cause I don't really wanna go to bed like this.

Josie opened her mouth to speak, but Penelope quickly interrupted her. "Please don't yell."

Josie shut her mouth and quietly nodded. She was exhausted and honestly too tired to fight and longer.

I'm so sorry. We're still stuck in the middle. I'm so sorry.

Penelope took this as a sign for her to go on. "I know that I said that I respect your decision, but I just can't leave it at that. I know I'm all out of second chances and it'll take everything for you to forgive me, but please, I'm begging you, don't end it like this. How can we be connected to each other for so long but we're not destined to be together?"

"I understand that you can't marry me. That's fine. I get your reasoning, but does that have to be the end of our entire relationship? I messed up. I know. I'll work tirelessly day and night to make it up to you." Penelope pleaded. "I'm totally 100% all in this. Are you?"

"I can give you time away from me because I know you said that you feel rage and confusion when you look at me. But when you're ready, can we please try and pick up the pieces? We fought to be with each other for so long, this can't be how it ends."

Josie wanted to shake her head, to tell her that she thinks this is for the best. She wanted to scream at the top of her lungs everything she's kept bottled up inside of her. Despite the simmering rage and confusion still lingering at the sight of her (ex) girlfriend, she couldn't. Instead, she said, "Penelope... I honestly don't know."

Penelope nodded. It wasn't a complete rejection, but it also wasn't a confirmation.

I don't know what it's like to be you. I don't know what it's like but I'm dying to. If I could put myself in your shoes, then I know what it's like to be you.

"Josie, I thought I knew everything about you. I thought I knew exactly how your mind works, but I don't. But that's okay. Because I love unravelling the way that your mind works. It's methodical and intricate, so I never know what to expect. And I don't know what it's like to be you. I can't even imagine how much pain I caused you in the past two days. I got so caught up in making everything perfect, but it all turned out imperfect because I forgot to pay attention to what I care about most. A single text or a phone call may have been enough to save everything. I'm stupid for not seeing that sooner." Penelope leaned off of the car and stuck her hands in her pockets.