5SOS Preferences and Imagines

Calum - Fake Smile

Based on "Fake Smile" by Ariana Grande

Dating Calum had its perks. He was the kindest and sweetest person I knew, he was incredibly attractive and was ~incredible~ in bed, amongst other things. But every now and then I caught of the glimpse of the cons to dating someone as mega famous as he was. Tonight was one of those nights.

Another night, another party, and tonight the boys were in invited to a big house party in LA. While I loved Calum, all the boys, and all the work they did, these parties were not something I looked forward to. They were thrown in million dollar homes, had only celebrities in attendance, a plethora of drugs and alcohol, and often the people at the parties were so fucked up that bad things happened.

It was Friday, the day of the party, and I was in tears through most of it. Work was horrible, and during my lunch break I got to read through 20 different articles trying to figure out if I was pregnant or not, based on a photo that came out of Calum and me on the beach the week prior. I wasn't pregnant, and in fact was just bloated that day. But all twitter and the news outlets cared about was whether I was pregnant or was gaining weight. The general consensus of both sides to the argument was "poor Calum." After such a horrible day, I wanted nothing more than to go home, get into bed, and cuddle up next to Calum and pass out. But as I got a text from Sierra asking what I planned on wearing to the party, I quickly kissed my blissful plans goodbye.

Calum and I arrived to the party around 10pm, a time for me that meant crawling under the covers and going to sleep.

"Come on, baby. I know you're not feeling the best, but maybe a little party will do you some good," Calum coaxed, brushing hair behind my ear.

I smiled up at him, "Maybe you're right. I'll give it a try."

And try as I did, by 11:30 I was on the verge of an anxiety attack with Calum nowhere in sight. I needed to go. The pounding music, the inevitable fear that something bad was going to happen, the lack of sleep in my body, and the fact that I couldn't find anybody I knew was sending me over the edge. We had taken an Uber here, but I didn't want to call one and leave without Calum. After many calls and texts, I gave up and decided to call for an Uber.

Wishing Calum was here to walk me to my car, I anxiously shuffled through the living room of the house and out the front door.

If I'm being honest, I've been through way too much today to be okay with what was happening.

It wasn't long until I piled into the back of the Uber, alone. I didn't talk much to the driver. I couldn't fake a smile or a laugh, so I said nothing as I looked out the window, tears rolling down my cheeks.

The Uber arrived back to Calum and I's after 10 minutes. I thanked the driver and exited the car, going into the house and locking the door. I heard the familiar jingle of Duke's collar and bent down to pet the smiling pup as he ran up to me.

"Come on, buddy. Let's go to bed. Daddy will be home later," I whispered, picking him up and walking up the stairs into our bedroom. It didn't take long for me to strip and crawl under the covers, cuddling up with Duke by my side.

I sent Calum a quick and slightly passive aggressive text telling him I was home safe before I drifted off to sleep.

I was woken up close to 2 am to the sound of Duke barking loudly in my ear due to the sight of Calum entering the bedroom.

"Shh, shh, bud, shh," Calum quickly coaxed the little dog.

I sat up in bed, rubbing my eyes and checking the time.

"Hey," I mumbled.

Calum sheepishly smiled, sitting on the edge of the bed carefully. He knew he was in trouble.

"I'm so sorry I didn't answer my phone at the party," he whispered. "I couldn't hear it going off in my pocket. I'm so sorry, baby."

"It's fine," I sighed. "I just had a shit day and being there was too hard for me."

"Why? What's wrong?"

I sighed, "I don't know, Calum. It's just... sometimes it's hard to fake smile. Sometimes it's so fucking hard to go through shit every day and to just be okay with it. It hurts."

"Like what? Baby tell me what's going on so I can help you."

I grabbed my phone, still speaking to him as I scrolled through it to find the articles to show him. "I mean, I read the things people say about me everyday, and sometimes it hurts but I know a lot of it comes from teenage girls who are jealous of me. I know that. It's hard for them to shock me, but today it did. The things people were saying about me... I saw it too. I saw what they were saying about me and I agreed with them and it made me feel so horrible."

I showed him the article, wiping away a quick tear.

"Babe, you know you can't read this shit. You know you can't."

"I know, it's just, when you see it on accident... It's hard to ignore."

"I wish fans didn't treat you this way," he mumbled. "I wish they would let us be happy."

I sighed, "I know, I do too. But this is the life that I chose, being with you. And I'm so happy with you and I love you, and I'm so grateful for everything you've done for me. It's just... something I'll always have to deal with."

He didn't say anything, he just seemed sad.

"I mean, fuck, we'll be 70 years old with grandkids and they'll still me I look fat," I joked, trying to coax a smile from the boy. It worked, a small smirk crept onto his lips.

"Well, I think you're gonna have a banging bod as a 70 year old," he chuckled.

I scrunched my face, "Ew, I don't ever want to think about hot grandmas."

He laughed, wrapping his arms around me tightly.

"I love you, you know that, right?" he whispered.

"Of course I do."

He looked me in the eyes, "I don't ever want you to feel the need to fake smile. I love you, and I want you to be as happy as you can be, and if anyone wants to stand in the way of that, then they can go fuck themselves."

I kissed his lips quickly, "I love you."

He smiled, "I love you."

I laughed lightly, "Okay, now hurry up and get into bed because I want to go back to sleep."