Deceret Series #1: His Lips On My Neck

Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Some people are afraid of too much happiness because they believe that too much sorrow will follow thereafter.

I am very wary of the time that sadness has momentarily abandoned me.

Siguro nga ay ito ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. I've been so happy with Philodemus' side that I forgot how fucked up I am. I forgot about my worthlessness. The disgust in my mother's look is the only thing that reminded me of my painful past. Lahat ng mga ito ay nawawala kapag si Philodemus ang kasama ko.

But what if it comes back in a full-blown punch? The pain and sorrow? I've become comfortable with the embrace of happiness that I forgot how it was like to drown in the sea of pain.

Nakakatakot.

I stared at the man squatting in front of a huge white fabric. His brows are furrowed as he stroked the fabric using his paintbrush skillfully. Ang mahaba niyang buhok ay bahagyang tumatakip sa kaniyang mga mata. His eyes reminded me of Philodemus when he's singing or playing the electric guitar.

Passion.

I smiled to myself. Nakakatuwang tingnan na sa panahon natin ngayon ay mayroon pa palang mga lalaking ganito. The ones who would give up everything for their passion. The intensity is just so strong that you could see it in their eyes.

Hindi niya ata narinig ang pagpasok ko dahil sobrang concentrated niya at may nakapasak pa na AirPods sa kaniyang tainga habang nagp-paint para sa aming banner. Siya lang ba mag-isa ang gagawa niyan? Ang laki niyan tapos mamaya na ang pageant!

"Rigor! Magdamit ka nga!" puna ni Hanz. Nabulabog ako sa malakas niyang boses at kaagad na nag-iwas ng tingin. "Kita mo namang may mga babae rito!"

The guy named Rigor lifted his gaze lazily. He glared at Hanz and pursed his lips. Luminga-linga siya at nakitang ako lang ang babae dito sa room. Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin bago niya dinampot ang nakasampay niyang t-shirt at isinuot iyon. He's muttering curses under his breath.

Nakangiting lumapit sa akin si Hanz.

"So... are you ready?"

I licked my lower lips nervously. Apat na oras bago ang pageant ay inayusan na ako. Sobrang kinakabahan pa rin ako. Lalo pa nang nag-CR ako kanina at narinig ko ang ibang mga first years na nag-uusap patungkol sa pageant. I can hear the excitement in their voices and it doubled up my nervousness. Pakiramdam ko kasi... madi-disappoint ko lang sila.

Tango lang ang isinagot ko kay Hanz at bahagyang lumayo sa kaniya. Nagpunta ako sa may bintana ng classroom. Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Rigor still working on the banner with a scowl on his face.

Composing myself, I pulled out my phone. I dialed Zechariah's number and stared at the leaves moving of the huge Mangga tree in front of me. After a few rings, sumagot din siya.

"Zec!" I said breathlessly.

She chuckled. "Nininerbyos ka na naman?"

I bit my lower lips. Maybe she could tell by the way my lips quiver. "More than you could ever tell, Zec..."

"May duty pa ako, eh. Alas syete ako matatapos dito tapos kung babiyahe pa ako, alas syete y media na ako makakarating diyan."

"I need you here..." I whined like a baby. "Gusto kitang nandito, Zec."

She laughed. "Of course! Pupuntahan kaagad kita pagkatapos na pagkatapos ko dito sa trabaho. Sounds good to you?"

"Hmm. Yeah." I said, heaving a sigh.