Deceret Series #1: His Lips On My Neck

Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Nanuot ang bawat salitang binitawan ni Shantel sa dibdib ko. The pain shocked my entire body for a second, before it scattered throughout my entire system and hit me in the gut.

"Ano...?"

Tumulo na ang mga luhang pinipigilan ni Shantel. With trembling lips, she wiped her tears away and cleared her throat.

"He died. Last month." Pagkaklaro niya.

"Pero... paanong..." halos hindi ko na maayos ang pagsasalita ko. My shoulders broke into sobs as my hand flew to my mouth. Nanlabo ang paningin ko dahil sa luhang rumagasa sa mga mata. Nanghahapdi ang dibdib at bahagyang hinihingal ay niyakap ako ng kapatid. The warmth from her body that usually soothes me did nothing to tame the wild pulse of pain that is tearing my heart into two right now.

"I'm sorry..." she cried and hugged me tighter. Pareho na kaming umiiyak ngayon. Fresh, hot tears rolled down my cheeks. I could tell by the way Shantel's shoulders stiffened that she's trying to gain control of her emotions as well. She's playing big sister again by acting tough and letting me cry on her shoulders.

"Bakit... Bakit hindi niyo man lang sinabi sa akin!"

"Stormie..." sobrang pula ng ilong at pisngi niya habang pinupunasan ang panibagong luha. She reached for my hands and squeezed it. "Patawarin mo ako..."

"Shantel! He's my Dad, too!" I sobbed harder. "I deserve to know it, too!"

"I know..." ipinikit niya ang mga mata at humigit ng isang malalim na buntong-hininga. "But mommy had prohibited me to contact you when he died. She says you might as well be dead in this family. She's convinced that you left us and now she thinks that you have no right to know anything about this family... you're not welcome here anymore, Stormie."

Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko nang maramdamang tumulo ulit ang mga luha. I bit my lower lips and tried to calm down but I couldn't. Naghihisterikal na ako ngayon.

"Where is she? Let me see her."

Her eyes widened when she heard the anger in my voice. Umiling siya. "Stormie..."

I shoved her away and stormed inside the house. Pinipigilan ako ni Shantel pero itinulak ko lamang siya palayo. With each angry step I could feel the erratic beating of my heart. I have never been this angry. All my life, I've been tamed and was manipulated by my mother. I am not to speak unless spoken to. I am not to act unless ordered to. I am not to show my feelings unless permitted too.

But not now, mother. Not now and not anymore.

"Mommy!" galit kong sigaw habang papaakyat ako sa grand staircase. Shantel is begging me. I ignored her pleads. Mas nanaig ang sobrang galit na umahon sa dibdib ko. Nang marating ko ang kwarto ng mga magulang ko ay galit kong kinatok ang pintuan. "Mommy!" I yelled angrily again.

My patience is wearing thin with the unanswered knocks and my anger is boiling up on me. I could even hear my blood pumping on my ears as my head spinned. Nang hindi pa rin sumagot si mommy ay itinulak ko na ang pintuan. The door slammed as I walked in.

Naabutan ko siyang nakaluhod pa at hawak ang rosaryo. She glanced briefly at me, before she dusted her skirt and rose, setting the rosary on the desk. My mother eyed me warily.

"Do you not know how to knock, child?" kalmado niyang tanong sa akin.

"Dad died!" I almost screamed, jabbing an angry finger at her. "He died and you didn't tell me!"