You don't really hate anything
Or anyone
It's just a useless emotion
But the one thing that you do hate
Is arguments
Because when you were a kid
That's all you heard
Every night
For ten years
You were eight when your mom moved in with a boyfriend
And he was nice enough
At first
Then things started escalating
At first, it was just little things here and there
At first, it was just hushed arguments in the garage
At first
Then
There was yelling
Not the reprimandive kind
No
It was loud
Their voice could be heard throughout the house
You can hear things being thrown
And each night you'd sit in your room
So unbelievably worried
And your little sister didn't understand what was going on
But you did
And you cried
So much
Each night, you'd sit in that house
Each night, you'd sit in that room
Each night, you'd sit in that corner
And each night you could hear him hitting her
And you'd wonder
And you'd hope
And you'd pray
Please don't let this be the last time I see my mom
You'd pray and you hope and you'd pray
Sometimes, you'd fall asleep in that corner
Crying your eyes out
Trying to ground yourself because every time you were having a panic attack
Five things you could see
The bed - Breathe
The door - Breathe
The closet - Breathe
The dresser - Breathe
The lamp - Breathe
Three things you can touch
The carpet - Breathe
The wall - Breathe
The bed - Breathe
Remember to breathe
Remember to breathe
Remember to breathe
Remember....
Because there was nothing else you could do
Except sit there
