inspired▪︎tmr gif series

[28]▫️ANXIETY▫️minho

¤trigger warnings; anxiety/anxious thoughts

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Prompt (lyrical);
"I know it makes you nervous,
but I promise you it's worth it."

--

Imagine...

Minho helping you with anxiety...

After coming up in the Box, you had taken one look at the boys surrounding you and then bolted. You hid behind a smaller hut. But, it wasn't long before you had been found, by Alby. He showed you around, explaining the rules and how the Glade worked. You didn't say much the entire time, though, nodding along with the occasional, 'okay.'

-

The rest of your first day consisted of boys, some older, some younger, coming to you and introducing themselves. Every time that you met with a new face, your hands would become clammy and shaky. The speed of your heartbeat would pick up too. Something in your mind would tell you to walk away from them. Hide. But you didn't want to appear rude to the other Gladers, despite how loud the voice in your head was.

-

Later, as it started to get dark, the Gladers threw a party of sorts; the bonfire crackled, and they all danced and cheered as a drink was shared and passed from person to person. This is not so bad, you tell yourself. Though, you are taking deep breaths, closing your eyes, and counting: all to try and calm yourself.

-

It all gets to be too much pretty soon.

The boy named Gally calls you, gesturing for you to go to him. "Greenie!" You jump, turning around with wide eyes. Like, a deer caught in headlights. "Come on! It's your turn!"

When you don't move, he comes to you. He offers you the jar, wanting you to take a sip. "No, thanks." You force the words out. Then you try to walk away, but he starts to yell.

"Fellow Gladers! Don't you think the Green bean should take a swig! After all, this celebration is in your honor!"

The remaining Gladers gather so that you are encircled by them all. "No, thanks." You repeat. "Please." You mutter afterward, not even sure why you're pleading.

They suddenly start chanting. "Greenie! Greenie! Greenie!"

You look around, spinning in a circle. All of the faces are staring, watching you, waiting.

You start to feel dizzy. Your head hurts. Everything becomes blurred as tears threaten to spill from your eyes. Your breathing gets heavier.

They all stop, watching still.

"What's wrong with the green bean?"

Then, before you can embarrass yourself farther.. you run, pushing two of the Gladers aside to make way for your exit.

-

You are tucked away under a small tree in the woods. Your knees are pull up against your chest. You have stopped crying, but there's no doubt that your cheeks are probably puffy and red from the tears. The anxiety has dissipated slightly. Above you, birds are rustling around in the leaves and chirping. The relaxing sound helps to calm you a little.

"Don't panic. Please." You hear a voice behind you, right after a twig snaps.

The keeper of the Runners, Minho, stands before you. He points to the ground. "Can I sit?"

You shrug, then nod, your palms beginning to sweat.

He looks in your direction, squinting as if trying to figure you out. "So.. are you alright?" He watches you shift, hugging your knees tighter. "You don't have to answer."

His soft, comforting voice convinces you to trust him. "It's just.. all the people-- all of them... it's just.. too much. I feel sick."

Minho nods along. "Well, it is your first day."

"It's not--" You sigh. "I can't remember.. but I think I've always been this way."

Minho listens carefully. "Anxious?"

You shift again, bringing your knees down a little bit. "I don't.. do crowds. Loud people, or untrustworthy-"

Minho chuckles. "Well, the Glade is full of untrustworthy guys."

"I didn't mean it like everyone is that way. You- you seem.. fine."

"I know you didn't. But you don't know any of us well enough yet, so I get it." He pauses for a beat, then stands up. "Why don't you come back? Stay with me. The runners are pretty chill and quiet sometimes."

"I'm not sure..." You pull your knees in once again.

"Look... I know this makes you nervous, but if you take your nerves, the anxiety, one day at a time, one minute at a time. I promise you it'll be worth it."

You glance up at Minho with a small smile. You feel slightly better. But the feeling of anxiety is so strong it makes you unsure still.

Minho holds out his hand. "Come on. We can start with me, introducing you to the other Runners."

"If-- if I freak out again?"

Minho tries one last time to help you, with a sweet reply that puts tingles down your back.

"I'll help. Walk you to your bed, sit with you for a while., or leave you be... whatever you need." Minho waits patiently for a few more seconds. And then you take his hand.

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Final edit: 31.10.20