Despondency

Consternation

Consternation: feelings of anxiety or dismay, typically at something unexpected.

Oikawa's P.O.V

Consternation is all I felt towards the scene in front of me.

I walked in and saw them, and then it came crashing down. I knew it for a long time but I refused to let myself believe it because ignorance is bliss. Yet here I am, looking at the live image of breathtakingly painful betrayal.

All the memories I have of beautiful days that felt like I was walking on clouds have disappeared and now I'm falling into the hell of pain that is consuming me faster than I would like.

I won't cry. I don't cry. I refuse to cry in front of them because they don't deserve my tears. But the tears are welling up inside of me just like the pain, hurt and betrayal. But I know I'll cry once I'm alone. Once all my demons have left their hiding spot and start screaming at me 'I told you so'.

My "loyal friend" kissing the "love of my life" my "life line" the person who is "my soulmate"

I turn around and hear them call my name but every sound coming from them is like a dagger to my whole being. Life's a bitch and I have to survive it.

I clench my fist as I walk past all the people in the hall. My nails dig into my palm but I prefer this physical pain over this excruciating heart ache.

4 years Gone. Thrown to the trash because god damn the trust in people now a days.

'I love you'

'I'll stay with you forever'

'No one will ever take your place'

'I'll never cheat on you because I love you'

'My one and only'

B. U. L. L. S. H. I. T. And I should have smelled it from a centimeter away. But they say love conquers all right? Then why did no one tell me that after it conquered you it then cuts your head off and rips out your heart while it mockingly parades your broken feelings around.

I turned a corner and walked into my favorite teachers classroom who was also my aunt and slammed the door shut. She was the kindest person in my entire life. I knew she didn't have a class at the moment because she had a free block.

"Hey Kawa! What's wro- oh hell what happened?" Saito said as she walked towards me. I was crying my lungs out as I felt the pain relentlessly coursing through every feeling I've ever felt. She hugged me tightly and rubbed my back.

"Oh honey what happened?" She said as she walked me towards one of the tables and we both sat down. She scooted her chair closer so she could still hug me. I tried to form a sentence but only choked sobs left my mouth while I tasted bitter tears touch my lips.

"Hey Hey listen to me, it's okay it'll be okay. I'm right here. Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth"

It took around 20 minutes for me to finally be able to talk without choking on my words again.

"Okay now, tell me what happened?" She said with concern evident in her eyes "Talk to me"

"I-iwa And Sophie" I choked out while crying