Jada's Journal

3/16/19: Getting Gay @ Conference Track

  I got to go to conference despite joining the track team five weeks late into the season! Our team ran very well and we stole first place. I think I'm developing a small crush on this one girl. To be honest, I can't tell if it's love or just lust. She's a captain on the team, so it'd actually be really bad if I were to end up crushing on her due to the fact that she's two years older than me—meaning that in the future (if we ever do associate with each other) we're going to have to have a two year age gap, and that means that when she's graduated I'm still gonna be a junior... and that's not very epic gamer style.
  When I got home from the meet, I really wanted to get to know more about her so that I could have something to go off of when I attempted to start a conversation. I found her Instagram, but to my surprise—it was private. Fuck. I really wanted to stalk it. I haven't felt this way about anyone in a fat while. I guess the feeling means that the old me is returning. It's nice to feel as if I'm coming back (meaning not as sad anymore).

  I really missed track after it ended in 8th grade. I didn't do it freshman year due to my lack of information gathered about it, and because I was very new to the school at that time. I was actually going to go to a different school, but our house burned down unexpectantly and we ended up living in a hotel for months, and that was during the track season in 8th grade. Every day I got woke up at 4:00 A.M., did my stretches, showered, stretched again, ate waffles and sausage from the hotel breakfast, and got a ride to the track. It was always freezing, but we eventually got used to it. I did the 100M, 200M, 4x1, 4x2, and discus. My relay teams and I had a very strong bond.

Anyways, back to today.

  The second that the announcer spoke of us receiving first place, our whole team erupted into screams and cheers of joy. We all bounced up and down and hugged each other. It felt like pure team love, something I haven't felt in a long time. As per tradition, the whole team (even the ones who didn't run) did a full lap around the track chanting different mantras.

"How strong?"

"SOUTH STRONG!"

"How strong?"

"SOUTH STRONG!"

"We are Mustangs!"

Clap, clap, clap clap clap.

"We are Mustangs!"

Clap, clap, clap clap clap.

  Everybody was jumping up and down during the lap with their hands up, and I could hear the faint sound of a camera snapping pictures in the background. The track was full of so much joy and positivity at that moment that I felt like nothing could stop me from smiling. After we finished the lap, we recorded videos for Snapchat and sunk in our big win. When everyone was calmer, we started giving awards to the people who broke records and PRs. I was already happy prior to the award ceremony, but I got even happier when the girl and I made direct eye contact. She looked so happy... and she has a really cute smile. You see, this captain is usually really serious (which is hot as fuck). She's always about training and results at practice. Seeing her smile for one of the first times made me smile 10X wider. Seeing her run her events also made me a bit giddy because she's super fucking fast. I have a weak spot for runners... and sporty girls in general. She's hot, extra toned, and stands at 5'2. I want to catch up to her level and show her that I'm worthy. She's like an opponent to me; she makes me want to do extra to better myself. But at the same time, I want to get to know her. I wanna make her smile and laugh, and I wanna hang out with her. I hope that we can get into that level of a relationship one day.