I'm done. I'm just flat out done with life at this point. It's just a burden, am I right? I'm tired of hearing about irrelevant political issues and how a school is being shot up every two weeks. I'm sick of having to pretend I'm someone else in order to have people like my personality. I'm just sick and tired of it all, dudes (et. whoever is actually even reading this). I want to just fade to black and just... perish-but sadly it doesn't work like that, and it won't. God damn it. Looking back to what I literally just wrote five minutes ago, it sounds fucking stupid. Scratch all of that. I'm not wishing to die and leave behind all of the few people who actually love and cherish my presence. If I could watch my whole family die before me and I be the last, it'd be a damn blessing from Chloe Price herself. I just want a new beginning. Something brand spankin' new that I've never experienced before; such as a significant other's gentle touch or even just a simple hug out of nowhere. Maybe I don't want to die. Maybe I want someone to miss me before I die. Someone who cares for I, Jada A.W., and someone I reciprocate the feelings back to. I always wondered what It would feel like to have a big part of your life ACTUALLY be part of your life. What is love (baby don't hurt me)? What is living? What is life? What, oh holy spirit above, are we here for? What is our sentimentality, our almighty purpose? Elucidate please. I'm here, begging you. Hell, I'm not even religious. But for me to not be a raging suicidal self-depreciating psychopath, I may have to be. I have to love something I can't see. I have to feel something I can't see.
I must be loved by a presence I don't know.
YOU ARE READING
Jada's Journal
AcakWARNING: Depictions of violence, certain aspects that may be triggering, and language that may be portrayed as offensive. "Lots of gay shit on the daily-do." - Jada, 2017 "If you swallow cum you'll get pregnant." - Ivey, 2018 "When in defeat just be...
