Succie Succie

1.3K 63 107
                                    

Bakugou: This is my pet rock Kirishima.

Kirishima: Nice to- Wait what??

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

All Might: I will fight for my son's honour.

Izuku: *self deprecation*

All Might, rolling up his sleeves: I'm sorry it had to come this my boy....

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Aizawa: Eri, what are you drawing?

Eri: My favorite hero.

Aizawa, expecting himself, Izuku, or Mirio: Is.... Is that Catman portrayed by Adam West...?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Tokoyami: I am forever shrouded in darkness...

*fridge is opened up and light floods the room*

Koda: ....Um, I-I just came to get cookies. Carry on with your fridge perch activities..

Tokoyami, after the light is turned back off: Darknesssss....

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hizashi: Hey you think I can imitate air horns?

Aizawa: No. Please don-

*Hizashi begins his attempts at air horns with his mouth*

Aizawa, yelling over his noise: WHY DO I LOVE YOU!?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Hizashi: You are the Mario to my Peach....

Aizawa: Fuck you I'm peach!

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nemuri: I like to make my eyeliner sharp enough to stab a bitch.

Tensei, abdomen bleeding: Wow that's sharp.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Tenya, 13 yrs old: Brother your friends here.

Tensei: Oh tell them I'll be down in a sec-

Tenya: They're in my room, drunk, and lip syncing to Beyonce.

Tenya: There is no music, Brother. What are they lip syncing to!?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Snipe: I'm not just a cowboy. I'm a cowboy with standards.

Ectoplasm: You just ate an entire burrito in one go without effort. How is that a standard?

Snipe: No that's a talent, not a standard. Get yer facts straight.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Izuku: Mom why did I see All Might sneaking out of the house last night?

Inko: He's your new father.

Izuku: Fucking finally.

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Nemuri: I can't believe Aizawa is dead.

Tensei: I know right? He had so little to live for.

Hizashi: He didn't even get to kill himself. He just died.

Tensei: I wonder where he is right now....

*muffled screaming from under their asses*

Nemuri, deep sigh: I hope he's at peace...

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Emi: Hey Nemuri, what do you call a lesbian bean?

Emi: A lesbean! *slaps her knee and laughs hysterically*

Nemuri, a singular tear going down her cheek: Why do I love you........?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Kaminari: Sir, can I go to the nurse?

Aizawa: I don't see anything wrong with you.

Kaminari, turns away and half his clothes from the behind is gone: I pissed Bakugou off beyond his limit. I cannot feel my butt, sir.

BNHA shitpostsWhere stories live. Discover now