𝙨𝙚𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙩 𝙖𝙙𝙢𝙞𝙧𝙚𝙧 - jikook

ELEVEN

dear jimin,

i really want to meet you.

i want to talk to you. hear about what you did that day, how you were feeling. i want to have a conversation with you and i want to tell you how my day went. i want you to look at me and not just for a split second but for more, minutes maybe, and i want you to smile at me and laugh at my jokes, like you do with your friends.

sometimes my life gets lonely and it almost makes me want to reveal myself to you, just so i could have somebody close to me, or just talking to me.

but i can't.

i'm too afraid.

it's easy to pour you feelings out on a paper, not immediately knowing how the person is going to react or how they feel about it. you don't have to know because they are far away and what you don't know, doesn't hurt. you don't have to feel immediately embarrassed after you say something stupid, like a lame joke or just some random nonsense, because you don't see them. all you have to do is pretend that you're more confident and brave than you actually are.

that's why i can't meet you.

i'd make a fool out of myself.

that doesn't really apply to me talking to most people. you just seriously make me nervous.

this is making me nervous.

from
your john.