Resident Evil Oneshots

{RE2} ☢ Frustrations of Raccoon City Revealed ☢ {Leon Oneshot}

Disclaimer:I own absolutely nothing. Everything that is Resident Evil belongs to the one and only Capcom.

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"I hear you were a survivor of Raccoon City... Why don't you tell me about that?" the old man sitting at his desk gently coaxed at the brunette slouching in the seat across from him. He was a pot-bellied man with the stereotypical thick framed glasses perched on his nose. On the walls behind him were his achievements and college degrees to show off to his patients.

Leon Scott Kennedy remained unimpressed.

"You want to hear about the nightmare that was Raccoon City?" scoffed the former rookie-police officer, a brow raising bitterly. He had been forced into this therapy session by the government after being forced, once again by the government, to start training to be their agent due to his successful survival of the Raccoon City disaster just weeks ago.

"I feel it would benefit you if you talked about it instead of bottling things up inside." the old therapist answered wisely, folding his hands atop his desk and resting them before his mouth in his standard 'listening pose.'

Leon bitterly brooded over this decision for several seconds before he decided, yes, he did want to talk about Raccoon City. "Alright, I'll tell you about Raccoon City..." The therapist nodded encouragingly. "Raccoon City was made ninety percent out of freakin' alleys." The newly-made government agent snorts.

"I'm sure it has nothing to do... wait what?" The therapist blinked at him, confused. Clearly he had been expecting for Leon to start speaking of the zombies, of everyone around him being turned into the living dead of being mutated... But Leon had come to terms to that fairly quickly. Shooting the undead was a great stress reliever.

But not once had he or Claire had the chance to complain about anything else that had bothered them with everything else that had been going on about them. The more important events. Now Leon had that chance, and he wasn't going to hold back.

"And don't get me started on the tiny streets. No sane person should have determined a city's streets should be so tiny! No one could possibly get through - much less adequately dodge the zombiefied dogs!"

"Mr. Kennedy, I don't think this is what we should be focusing on..." the pot-bellied man attempted to placate. He really was trying his hardest to steer this session onto more serious matters. Really, he didn't believe the brunette man before him was taking this session seriously at all! Leon continued completely unabated by the therapist's attempts.

"And what the hell was with the police department?" Leon inquired. "I heard it had used to be a museum before it was converted but damn!"

"Mr. Kennedy, please!"

"The place had puzzles and traps out the freakin' wazoo! And don't get me started on the dick who scattered the random keys around the place! I mean, is it so hard to ask for a key hook somewhere?

"And you know how you can just walk down your simple hallway to the room in question in your house? Heck, even in this government building? Yeah, those are good times... I missed those times in Raccoon City. That police department was also comprised of ninety percent hallway, if you're wondering. No bathroom, however..." By this time the poor therapist had taken his glasses off and placed them atop the pile of papers before him and placing his face in his hands. It seemed Leon was on a roll and refused to stop this rant anytime soon. At least the man was talking now, the therapist reasoned.

"And who let the guy building this place get away with all those traps and puzzles? They had to have cost thousands of dollars but it seemed no one cared to bat an eye about it when they built it! That or some rich guy just wanted to fuck with the police..." Leon stopped to muse of this fact for a minute. "Every time I ran into a locked door or had to go fetch something new I was afraid I'd have to find a the Holy Grail bring it to Charlie the Unicorn, make the creature drink the Holy water that's conveniently placed on the other side of the building behind an obscure brick in the wall, to make the unicorn spit up the mythical Heart of the Sea to open the sliding door to this nonexistent bathroom.

"Let me just say, Raccoon City was a nightmare even without the infestation!" At this point the therapist was seriously considering telling the government to scrap Leon Kennedy in favor of someone more... sane... The brunette male went on unheeded.

"And why were the sewers larger than the streets themselves?" Leon wondered aloud. The session continued in much the same fashion, with Leon continuing to ramble, seemingly without end about all the little things that had bothered him about Raccoon City. It was with great relief that the therapist finally let the man go, promising to himself silently to never to bring up that disaster again to the government agent...