Writing On The Desk | MILEVEN AU

| teenage wasteland |

Jane had started looking forward to her class with Mr Clarke, wondering what dorky or sweet comment the stranger had left on her desk. The surface of the wood had become increasingly covered with small scribbles and sentences, each letter small enough so that the entire desk wasn't filled up. Her father kept forgetting to pick up another elastic band but she could hardly notice, too busy thinking of what questions to ask the stranger that she had been talking to. Every conversation told her more about him, yet she was still just as confused as the first day that he replied to her message on the wooden surface. 

You don't like science?

I love science, I find it so interesting...I just can't concentrate 

Glad to know I'm not the only science nerd :)

What's that supposed to mean? 

I feel like nobody ever has the same interests as me, you know

Do you not have friends?

Yeah but they just don't always understand me

I get it

Do you have many friends?

Not a single one

I wouldn't say that, El

Why?

You have me. 

Jane started to turn up to class early, her hands twitching slightly with excitement as she stumbled in impatiently. Mr Clarke sent her a confused smile every morning, not understanding why she was in such a rush to get to class, given her slacking grades recently. Given what had happened last year, he understood why she may have  been finding it hard to focus, everyday in class just reminding her of when they broke the news. 

How did it happen? If you don't mind me asking...

It's okay. She was in a car crash, everything over in seconds

Maybe that is a good thing, she may not have felt any pain 

But I did

I'm sorry, El

Everyone always says things like that, that they are sorry. I appreciate it but nothing will ever bring her back, you know? Does that make me a bad person?

No, it makes you normal

It just hurt, you know? Like I couldn't breathe when they told me, like when she died, part of me went with her.

I know you won't believe me, but it will get easier eventually

I guess I'm just getting tired of waiting for eventually.

After a few days of talking back and forth, Jane could practically imagine their frown, their pity filled eyes. The image haunted her eyes and she wished that she could be a normal person, that she could have a normal conversation without linking everything back to how broken she was. She didn't know that he did not mind in the slightest, that talking to her everyday made him  breathe easier, despite not even knowing who she was. She thought back to what he had told her about time making things easier, and she thought that trying to put what happened out of her mind may have helped. There wasn't anything that could have made her feel worse. 

Paladin?

Yeah, El?

Can we talk about you?

What about me?

What is your life like? How is everything?

Everything is...everything

You can talk to me, you know. It goes both ways

I guess I just feel lonely, like I'm underwater watching everyone swim around me. They can't hear me screaming or asking how to come up for air, to them I seem happy. 

I have some advice for that

What is it?

Learn to swim

What do you mean, El?

You told me that time will help, and I think it will help you too. I think you don't want people to know that you're hurting but sometimes it easier to talk to someone 

I'm talking to you 

Yeah, I guess you are 

Then there was the conversations that she looked forward to the most, the ones that would be filled with useless puns and jokes. The random arguments and pointless fights, where they would discuss what planet they would live on and why. The ones where they would discuss food and music, and anything other than what was bothering them. It was hard to look in the mirror everyday and pretend that everything was okay, but they both loved having someone to be their best distraction. They could talk about nothing and it would feel like they were talking about everything at the same time. 

Pineapple on pizza?

A crime

Well, this has been fun, El. But we can't be friends anymore

Who said we were friends?

Ouch 

I certainly don't want to be friends with someone who has fruit on bread? What is next? Banana on crackers? 

Pineapple on pizza tastes like heaven

Then there is something wrong with your taste buds

You're so mean

You like me anyway 

Unfortunately I do

xxx

Guess who is still crying over the trailer? I still cannot cope and instead of re-watching it for the hundredth time, I tried to do something productive! Hope you liked it, next chapter should be up shortly, we love a double update queen :)

Please leave a comment, hope you are finding it sweet so far!<3

~Jodie