NUMB

8

"Y'all can do whatever, play pool, swim, or watch a movie, but I need a shower," Lane says later at his house. "Me too," Kate said happily, which seemed to improve Lanes mood. "Can I talk to you, please?" Lane asks me, nodding to the kitchen. "Sure" I answer, already heading that way. "Before you even start, we are fine, I am fine. Now go have a good night with you're girlfriend, okay? Please..." I plead, gently pushing his arm.

"Okay" he finally agrees, hesitantly.

I was drinking some water, when his arms found my hips.

I felt his warm breath on my neck, and he kissed it. "What do you want to do? Play pool, video game, movie or sw...." his voice stopped and his breath caught as my lips found his neck. I felt his grip tighten on my hips as he turned me around and pulled me against him. His lips met mine, as I softly moaned into them. He pulled away slightly and lifted me to the counter. He never left my kiss, as he pulled my legs around him. His hands were on my lower back, as he deepened our kiss. His tongue left my mouth and lazily dragged up my neck, I shivered, writhing with want and need. Our bodies melted together, I moaned with my fingers pulling through his hair. This beautiful man wanted me and it felt so good. "Are you really not frightened of my age or my family?" he asked harshly, out of breath, stopping himself from pushing me. His lips still on mine, so close, I could feel them move as he spoke. "No" I spoke softly, kissing his so soft, full lips. "You can't help who your family is... or what business they are in.....as far the danger...It's everywhere.... my family is proof of that.... and age....its just a number...." I answer leaving soft kisses between my words. He'd pulled my lower lip between his teeth as I moaned lowly into his kiss. "Dylan..." I stop for more of his kiss, "Does it bother you that I'm barely eighteen?" I ask, under heavy breath with his forehead leaned down on mine. "I'm extremely thankful you're legal" he pants, softly dragging his tongue up my neck, I shiver. "I'm....so..... very....thankful..." he says almost in a whisper against my skin. He moans moving his hands to my bottom, as I pull off his shirt. Pressed against the skin of his chest, he's kissing me harder. His lips on my tongue, sucking softly as I moan into him, clutching at his shoulders. The feeling of my hands kneading into his skin, I feel like I'm on fire. His grip on my bottom is so strong, holding our bodies so close together, we both moan into this kiss. The strongest, wanting and neediest kiss, overflowing with lust.

He abruptly pulls away and turns to leave panting. He's walked out on me and I'm sitting on the counter, speechless. I'm under heavy breath, dizzy and my heart is racing. Before I know it, my eyes are filled and tears are falling. What did I do wrong? He can tell I'm inexperienced, I know he can. Will I lose him because of it?

I'm sitting on a lounge chair by the pool, with my legs hugged up to my body and my head resting on my knees. I feel so confused, so.... Site of him coming towards me makes me turn away, trying to hide my glossy eyes and tear stained face. I feel him watching me.

"Carly?......." He says my name softly and I don't respond. I don't know what to say. I don't even know if I can talk at all.

I don't even know what to think, I just know I am embarrassed.

"Please Carly? look at me..." he pleads softly. I can't answer, I don't know what to say and I don't want him to see me like this. He slides in behind me and pulls me between his legs and up against him, I turn my head away. He kisses the top of my head and leans his head down on mine. He puts his arms around me and whispers," I'm sorry I had to walk out.... I was pushing you and I didn't know if I could stop.... I want you more than any woman I have ever laid eyes on, but I know we need to slow down......"

I didn't say anything, I just let go of my knees to hold onto him and leaned my head back on his chest. He wiped my sleepy, frustrated, confused tears as he carried me in the house.

*******************************

When I wake, it's to him, handing me my cell phone.

"I'm sorry Gram, I'm fine...We... We must have fallen asleep?" I tell her questioningly, staggering for words, not sure what happened after he picked me up. "You fell asleep holding on to me, after I picked you up," he whispered my answer before I had to ask. "Okay Gram, in a few hours... I'm going back to sleep," I answer ending the call.

I nuzzle back into him and feel him release a deep breath, as he pulls me closer. We sleep.

"Look at how sweet they are," Kate whispers to Lane in the hallway. "Yea" he responded confused, scratching his head, obviously not expecting us to still be here.

"I don't wanna let you go...I shouldn't have..." he whispers softly, but I put my finger over his mouth to quiet him. I'm not ready for this conversation.

Truthfully, I'm glad he stopped, because he needs to know first, but I wish he hadn't of had to walk away from me to stop himself. But, bringing that up will bring up a conversation I'm not ready to have yet. It's embarrassing and I don't know what to say or exactly how to tell him. Hell, I'm 18 and still a virgin, which I'm happy about, but he might find it funny or strange. It's not a religious issue or anything crazy, and Lord knows I've had opportunities, but I've just always wanted to wait for the right person and the right time, that's all.

The ride home was quiet, and I could feel him watching me as he held my hand.

At the door, I was looking down lost in thought, staring at his hands around mine. "What are you thinking about?" he asks concerned. "I'm.....I'm just tired, I'm still trying to figure out what happened last night and how I feel about it," I sigh. "Can I hold you?" he asks shyly, as my arms slide around him, I feel him let out a deep breath. He kisses the top of my head.