she knows she is smart, yet her actions and voice contradict that.
she is trying, but when she loses her grip, her footing or her balance she cannot get back up.
being happy is her life goal, so why doesn't she feel it now?
she's lost and confused of what she wants in her life.
achieving anything seems too far of a reach,
and she can't accept a flaw.
following the footsteps of her father would make her a loner, a runaway or a neglect,
her mother is loving and caring yet struggles to get by.
and oh her mind is unique and mystified,
clouded by morning dew and weary.
yet what she sees in that broken mirror,
is an image she wishes she could change.
she turned away from the warmth of the beautiful sun,
wishing she could be as admired and gorgeous as that big star in the sky.
watching others' makes her upset, envious and almost possessive.
"but jealousy is a sin" she'd hear her mother say, but she wasn't worried about that.
her tired eyes wander across the old, newspaper like book.
words and sentences filled her brain with the knowledge she so wished she had.
the pages changing moods and intriguing her more as she kept reading.
the words turned mush
and she started to fall asleep
hoping a new day will bring her peace
into this melancholic world of hers ...
---
jess
