Some poetry

Mitus

If you're reading this then you probably know that theirs not much time for me here ...it's almost over but I'd be remiss if I didn't explain myself before I go...

It's too sunny for me to be negative but it seems the more the sun grows the bigger my shadows get and it turns to darkness
Wanting to smile and enjoy life but what seems to be so easy also seems to be the hardest
Dealing with my insecurities building a sense of security not liked cause I'm a poetry writer
No matter how good I write I'm not your type so we space out
...that's a keyboard reference

I never knew what love is i always wanted to find it though
But my gps broke
Like us up
Old poetry dug up from my heart break
Got tons of old messages I scrolled through
Think of the old you when I look back
But now I don't know who you are and it's sad
Can't see the same feeling or person like our relationship worsen I can't get through and it hurts N we can't go back to just friends because how it all ended try to move on but it's pendin 
Loves just a piece of my problems
Life moving fast tryna climb up this mountain we call life
Wait...what was I talking about?
Oh I'm a writer or artist if you'd like to say I'm a creator and a child of god
Who are you
Shame the deepest part of the poem had to be a question huh?
Sometimes I can't tell friends from lessons huh because not even they know who I am
They're supposed to
When I fall I look from a different perspective and see people in different lights and I always thought my demons were on the inside until I hit the ground and look up and you smiling at me ... my demons weren't ever inside me ... you were it the entire time and it took me falling for me to see it that way but I forgive you...I just hope you can forgive me for what comes next

I'm confused now i don't like being sober replaced the void for love with drugs and numbed myself
Without it I feel as though I would've hung myself
Scary when you can't even trust yourself
Couldn't hear you I felt so unwanted talk about it felt it was a problem that I needed to deal with myself thinking that nobody else here could help nobody else here could feel how I felt
Can't give my whole when I'm getting half of you
Lonely so I just go back to you because I'm not strong enough to start over

I have to go now...but I'll be back later hopefully I can stick to one subject ...