Rainy Days

4

RAYNES POINT OF VIEW

 I had a blast with Michael. We were like two kids in a giant mechanical playground. We went on almost all the rides, we ate huge amounts of junk food, and we laughed till our faces were sore. I love this man. He makes me feel so alive.  I have been treated badly all my life, I have never felt good about myself. I mean look at what I'm going through. Besides getting beat I also get put down.  

Because I look like my father my step dad always says I'm ugly. He tells me I'm nothing and never will be nothing. But with Michael I feel the exact opposite."Where to next? We have been on almost all the rides." I said looking for any rides we missed. All of a sudden a big gush of wind came and blew my shirt up enough to expose my bruised tummy and back. I quickly pulled it down hoping Michael didn't see it.

I looked at him and he was wide eyed. Crap."Rayne what the hell happened to you!?" And don't tell me you fell! Don't lie to me!" he yelled in a very serious and angry tone, pulling my shirt up examining my bruises. He also lifted my sleeves and saw those too. I didn't know what to do or say. I was out of lies. I felt paralyzed. After all these years I chose today to forget to put makeup over my bruises. I'm caught. I have to tell him now. I began to shake. I wasn't ready to tell him.

I was too scared. My step dad always said that if I ever told, he would kill me for sure, and I believe him. What am I gonna do? I need to speak and say something. I just can't stand here."Ok Michael those two weeks I told you I was sick was a lie. I was really healing from these bruises. They were much worse and I didn't want you to see me like this." finally I told the truth to him. But I wasn't gonna let him know everything.

I'm not ready.  He looked like he was about to punch something. His eyes were glossy and his hands were shaking.  He kinda looked like a mad man. Good thing no one was around."Rayne, look at me." he said grabbing both my shoulders and staring me in the eyes." tell me who the fuck did this to you! Tell me NOW!" He said this with so much anger in his eyes. I have never seen him like this before. In fact I never heard him say the ‘F' word.

It was kinda scaring me but at the same time It was turning me on. STOP RAYNE!! Think. What am I gonna say? I can feel the heat coming from his body. If this was a cartoon world, he would have steam coming from his ears and his body would turn red. All of a sudden a lie came to me."It was a mugger. You see, there is a long walk from our garage to the front door, so when I was walking, this man came out of nowhere and put his hand over my mouth and told me not to scream.

He told me to give him my money but I didn't have any, so he beat me up. I didn't see his face. It was dark and it all happened so fast. But I'm ok now." I hope he believes that. I sounded convincing. I don't even have a garage. I looked up and seen him looking at me with tears flowing down. The look on his face was a mixture of sympathy, anger, sadness, and worry.

He then grabbed me into a comforting hug."Oh my Gosh Rayne I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I should have been there. I shouldn't have let you drive home alone that night. Why didn't you call the police Rayne?""I was scared and plus it would have done no good because I didn't see him and don't blame any of this on yourself.  None of us planned this to happen." More tears were flowing down his face and now my face was wet. I felt awful.

I wish I could just die right now. I never wanted to see Michael cry again but now I'm the cause of these tears. Why can't I just tell him and face the consequences? Why am I hurting the man I love so much?"Please Michael let's just forget about this please. It was a very scary night for me and all I want to do is forget it and move on. Please?" I begged as hard as I could. I really wanna get off this subject. I'm gonna be more careful around him now.