Horror on Your Street

Would You Like a Smile With That?

I hate the neighbors. But I hate them with a smile.

I hate dating. But I hate it with a smile.

I hate my boss. But I hate him with a smile.

I hate my family. But I hate them with a smile.

I hate my life. But I hate it with a smile.

I hate my therapist. But I hate him with a smile.

I hate this list of things I hate. But I hate it with a smile. 

You see, my therapist told me in order for me to be happy I have to start with the little steps. He told me, smile. Smile whenever you're feeling angry or depressed. Smile when there's nothing else to do because the more you smile the happier you'll end up. Your brain will trick itself into believing you are happy, in turn you'll become happy. Boy was he right!

No more late nights staring angrily at the ceiling because of the neighbors screaming for hours just to fuck even louder than their profanities they were slinging at each other 30 minutes prior. Instead, you'll be happy they made up, he told me. You'll be able to see the "brighter side" of things. You'll know how to be better at a relationship because your bright smile defuses any bomb. 

Smile when you find the person you're on a first date with repulsive and annoying to the point where you'd actually take the fork out of your chow mein noodles and stab yourself just to get out of there. Smile even wider when he puts his hand on your thigh thinking tonight will be the night he gets get laid for the first time in months because when you smile, you look pretty. Smile because you look happy. And when you're happy its incentive for others to be happy.

Your boss screaming at you because he fucked up but can blame the lowest employee on the totem pole because who the fuck cares about that asshole? Smile in their face. Smile with a few nods, to show him that he can't ruin your day. Because smiling with conviction is better than breaking your keyboard over his head. One, because it won't kill him or even really hurt him much. And two,  you'll lose your job and three you'll go to jail for assault. No one needs to go to jail for a little misunderstanding, smile away the rage he has and maybe he'll smile too.

Is it the holiday season and you just can't deal with the fact that you feel like an only child when you have 3 older siblings? None of which join your sad parents at the table because unlike you, they didn't learn how to smile. Granted, one is dead so they got lucky and have a pretty good excuse. But the others, they abandoned the family making you feel like they never existed. Smile because your parents need you to, even if you hate them. Smile for them because you're the only one left.

When your life can't get any worse, smile when you get evicted from the apartment you've lived in for 3 years just because someone stole your rent check from the drop box outside of the leasing office. Smile when they give you two days to come up with the money that you don't have because your bank account is withdrawn $45 and the insufficient funds fee is $35 per day for every day that its still in the negative and you don't get paid for another week. Smile because well, things could be worse. 

Hopping off the bus to your therapy session and some asshole decides to drive through a pothole filled with dirty rain water just to soak you? Smile at them and wave! They'll never guess you needed to shower since you lost your apartment a week earlier. Don't forget to type their license plate number before they speed away so you can thank them the next time you see them. You remember their smirk as they drive past you because they do it every single time it's rained and you always happen to get off the bus for your therapy session around the same time they get off work. Even when you waited for the later bus, you still get greeted by the cold refreshing splash of murky water because he thinks its a cute approach to ask you out. After all, you're smiling that gorgeous smile when he does it so he must be like a school kid just pulling your pigtails cause he likes you, and who wouldn't with that Nobel Prize winning smile?!