Actors

Prologue

Prologue: first impressions

I was dressed in my best clothes for this audition which could start my career as an actor. This would take me away from my family farm, and all those struggles. It's not like I expect to earn loads of money but this would be a good start. It was one of my first auditions— it's my first audition ever, actually. My manager has hopes that I get the part working alongside this wonderful cast full of the best stars today. I've managed to be hopeful, as well. Also, I've managed to engrave the lines in my head and hopefully my acting skills will shine.

"Are you ready?" Manager Jung asks. I nod with an encouraging smile. It's funny how I'm the one that has to keep his nerves down instead of the other way around. I'm nervous myself and can't make him more nervous than he already is. I've got enough with myself, we didn't need more.

"Kim SeokJin," they called. My heart sinks to the pit of my stomach. I didn't want to exist in that moment. There was nothing more I wanted to do then back off.

I look at my manager knowing that I had to do this. He invested money to bring me to the city to achieve this. I take a deep breath before stepping inside the casting room.

Upon entering I see a table filled with people—people who are reviewing résumés, there's a camera and it's all intimidating. And I can't help but think this is how auditions will look like. A room filled with people waiting to see you succeed or see you fail miserably. They are all here to judge my audition. I take a closer look at the panel and notice the famous leading actor, Jeon Jungkook. He appears cold in demeanor, intimidating, but beautiful. He's otherworldly, he's many things that I can't ever imagine or aspire to be.

I make it to the center before bowing and presenting myself. It doesn't take long before they give me a sign to begin. The scene should be well done, I can't mess up. I have the camera and all eyes towards me. It's then that I truly feel nervous and ready to fail. It's not the mindset I pictured having.

The scene occurs in a blink of an eye. There were a few words which were messed up but I continued without making it a big deal. The director and producers ask me a few questions. To me that's a good sign. I answer them carefully and try to speak clearly without mispronouncing anything.

"Let's not pretend he's going to play the second lead. His accent shows, he's not even polished, and I'm sure he's just a leech looking to skyrocket into fame." Jungkook whom I had the upmost respect had said it. It was unthinkable for me to even imagine him saying those things specially about me.

"Excuse me?" I say in shock. I couldn't believe my ears. My idol couldn't have said those things.

"You heard me. It's obvious it's your first audition." He makes his way towards me and looks me up and down. "I don't think you have what it takes. Your manager, if you have one isn't doing their job or perhaps he's just taking your money. That's the least of your problems, you haven't expressed the emotion wanted in the scene." He pretends to dust off my shirt.

"It's not like someone reading of the script without emotion makes it easy." I'm trying to say respectfully but he's making it hard.

He steps back as if I've offended him. I'm happy he's got his hands off me because I could've punched him then. It's not like I didn't have the opportunity but it wasn't in my nature to lash out.

"That's just an excuse. Now, go home to where you're from because it's a tough world here and you're just Bambi here. They'll devour you, take my advice."

He called me Bambi? He's crazy. I was just nervous and it could happen to anybody. It was my first audition and he clearly knows it. Yet, he has the audacity to belittle me on every aspect. Then tells me to go home! How could he?!

"Mister Jeon, if you don't want him, we can discuss these matters privately. I suggest, we don't discourage those people coming in to audition." One of them said but I was too busy eyeing Jeon Jungkook. I wasn't going to back down. I felt insulted.

"You can continue to audition them but I'm done. You're not paying me enough for this. Plus, I'm not the leading lady here. She's the one who should be here." He rolls his eyes.

"I'll prove you wrong. I'll make sure next time we meet you won't ever doubt my acting abilities. You'll see, I'll make it to the top. I don't need you or your name to get there. Remember Kim SeokJin because you'll be hearing this name soon." I was determined to never let him or anyone else make me feel inferior ever again.

"I highly doubt it. You've got the face but not the talent. See you, Bambi." And just like that he left.

I had been dismissed and it was very clear to me that I wouldn't get the part. I'd have to work from the very bottom to the top. I'd make it to the top without the help of him or anyone. I'll prove that my talents can take me far, I'd do it and make him eat his words.

I'll be the greatest actor that anyone has ever seen. Kim SeokJin will be somebody. I'll be somebody.

March 22, 2019