Would you live for me? || Phan DH + PL

One - Friends

Dan

I was surrounded by crowds of people all cramming into each other and felt my chest start to erupt as I had to walk into it. I tried to keep my head down. Muddling into the mess feeling almost as if I had to hold my breath.

I walked in and saw the tall boy sitting in the front row with jeans as black as his hair. His piercing blue eyes drew up so much contrast that he could even light up the pits of soul. It was non-other than Philip Lester.

He laughed, slightly too loudly, with our group of friends as I walked over to join them. Phil was something special, he radiates self-confidence like the sun as he smiled like no one was watching. I always wanted to know how he always managed to find the light in the situation. No not just in situations, in people.

I pulled a chair up, joining the circle, in between Michael and Ashton. My mind races as I look at Phil in front of me, "Shut up!" I mentally tell myself. "You can't let this happen. Even if he was gay, why would he like you? You're worthless and everyone knows it."

"Dan, you ok?" Micheal's voice cut through my thoughts. "You've barely said a word since you got here."

"Fine. Whatever." The words leak out of my mouth. "You even sounds stupid." The thought gushes like a river through my head.

"Well, he's not fine." Micheal's voice again as he attempts to whisper to Phil. "You're his best friend and even I can see he's not fine." Phil takes a deep breath in and goes to respond. "Well-"

"You know you guys are really bad at whispering!"I tell them as they immediately stop talking. "Stop taking, no one wants to hear your dumb voice!" "I'm fine! I'm fine! I'm fine!" I bought down harder on my lip reaping the words over and over in my head. "Oh look the little cry baby's gonna cry." "Shush, not now. I'm fine."

"Oh and by the way I'm fine thanks!" My tone is dripping in sarcasm. The salty taste of blood fills my Mouth as I feel my lip start to bleed.

>•< >•<
After school

I ran for the gate not wanting to see anyone before I left but Phil still managed to catch up to me. Despite my still quite sour mood from that morning I still couldn't help but smile at his bright green jacket he had on. It was the brightest thing I had ever seen in the world and I was almost blinded by its colour.

"Hey." Phil started still breathing heavily from running after me. "Y-you wanna get some frozen yoghurt." At that moment there were two thoughts that crossed my mind. The first was that all I wanted to do was go home and lock myself in my room. But, the second was Phil's bright blue eyes. The dame boy could get me to do anything with those things.

"Yeah, sure!" I agreed as we walked down the street to the shop.

Phil

"Was it selfish of me?" I thought to myself as we walked down the widening road. "To ask Dan to go with me right now, I don't want to hurt him. I would never want that. But I also had plans I had to fulfil. Was it wrong of me to allow myself to be distracted by Dan even if it was only for an hour?"

"Hey, Phil," Dan's voice stops my thoughts abruptly.

Dan

"Hmm" He responds still looking as if his mind was somewhere else.

"Never mind," I say shaking my head. Idiot, all you do is waste other people's time.

"Dan?"

"Yeah," I reply.

"You know you're my best friend right?"

"Y-Yeah," I say stuttering slightly at the start of the word. Yes Dan, a friend. Get that into your thick skull you freak.

"And I'm sorry," he said gripping me by the shoulder such that I was now facing him.

"For what?" I asked giving a look of surprise at his words.

"Nothing, never mind." His answer was cryptically unsettling but I let the matter drop as we finally reached the door of the frozen yoghurt shop.

Future dan

The rest of the day was fun. We talked and joked around and it was normal. He was the person I had always known. But I guess I'm someways.... that was the last time I saw Phil Lester