Would you live for me? || Phan DH + PL

Four - Consequences

Dan

I filled my lungs with the salty air of the coast as closed my eyes to listen to the sound of the waves crashing far below me at the bottom of the cliff. Inching closer, I looked down at the jagged rocks and slowly saw my vision grow blurry. My eyes burned as the tears of acid poured down my cheeks, turning them as red as the anger that was burning only moments earlier. I can just take one more step. Just one more and it would all be over. I kept looking down. I wanted to do it, I needed to do it.

But.

I couldn't do it.

Weak. Faker. Lazy. Liar.

I stepped backwards, collapsing on a bench further away for the edge.

Phil

A small breeze blew against my face as the ocean air encased me. I wanted to be alone. But I didn't want to be lonely. I craved human contact, proper human contact not just on the surface, yet I could bear the thought of letting someone in. I wanted to open up without ever having to talk about my emotions.

In the distance, I saw a figure sitting on the bench on the top of the cliff. As I got closer I saw the features of the figure start to become clearer. They had a mop of curly brown hair that was pushed to the side such that it was out of their face. I knew who it was. It was Dan.

I sat down next the brown-eyed boy with my hands still wrapped in my hoodie, similarly to Dan who's clothes quite often matched the depth of the night's sky.

"Shouldn't you be in school young man." I teased before I saw his puffy eyes. A chuckle escaped his lips before turning into sobs.

I froze.

What was I supposed to do? Even with my best friend, I didn't know how to help. "Dan are you ok?" I asked trying to help. I hated that question yet there I was, being a hypocrite, asking it. Why did I hate that question? Because all too often the answer was not yet the word that came out of my mouth would always be the same two words, "yeah fine."

He shook his head. "Sh-shouldn't I be asking you that? Heard you didn't go home last night, what h-happened." He chocked out in between tears.

Normally I would have lied. If it was anyone else I would have made up some excuse. Normally even if it was Dan I would have made something up. But today, today I decided to do something different. "I-i ran away." I finally said matter of a factly, "I packed a bag and left." We sat there for a moment in silence. "He probably doesn't believe you," I thought. "What about you?" I asked, "What are you doing here."

"I walked out of class." Dan answered, "Then I came here t-to..." his voice trailed off but I watched his gaze turn to the cliff's edge.

"To escape." I finished for him, nodding at the cliff to show the true meaning behind my words.

I slipped the 4 stringed instrument out of my bag. "Let's play a song," I suggested getting an interesting look from Dan.

"And you just have a ukulele with you?" He asked with a hint of a smirk in his tone.

"Shut up!" I laughed jokingly but seeing Dan flinch at my words I quickly add,  "Sorry," I quietly apologize. Neither of us said anything, I put the strap over my head.

"Hello there, the angle from my nightmare. The shadows in the background of the morgue...." I slowly started singing as I strummed the ukulele.

"The unexpected victim.." I heard Dan join in, to my relief. We sat there together, two broken boys, at the top of the cliff singing songs with my ukulele. The words came out naturally, flowing over our lips in unison.

At worst the music was a distraction, at best it was a therapy. I felt at ease as I sang in time to the music, every chord sounding just where it meant to be. Where every note had found its key and knew where it belonged.

"We should do this," I said "music." For some reason I suddenly felt as if I wasn't talking to Dan, a person I had been friends with since we were 8, I felt a wave of panic flow over my body. "I mean only if you want to, it's not like it was that was..." I quickly added babbling.

I scrambled for words, hopping Dan didn't notice my momentary break in character. The mask I put on and showed the world, the "confident" and "self-assured" person people have come to expect. But that's all that, that Phil was.

"Yeah," The brown haired finally added, "To be honest I'm not sure what took us so long,"

Dan

Phil chuckled causing his eyes to sparkle like the roaring ocean. You can't think like that. "I can't fall for someone who's never going to love me back," I think. No one should ever love you.

The metallic taste of blood filled my mouth as I realized I was biting on my lip. "I don't want to go home," Phil quietly whispered but less like he was talking to me and more like he was talking to the cold, windy air.

"I don't want to go back to school," I reply, taking in a deep breath. I didn't want to go anywhere, all I wanted to was stay here.

Then I noticed something else, I felt less empty around a certain someone.

>•< >•<

I didn't know how much longer we had sad there but neither of us said another word. It was comfortable but both us knew that sooner or later we would have to go back.

And what was I going to do then? Go on pretending everything was fine that I was fine? But I couldn't do that. No matter how hard I tried. Because now everyone would know who I was, an attention seeking faker.