It Gets Worst

Chapter 10- Be Without You

(Unedited)

After Leon left, I quickly went into the shower to wash up and listen to some music while I was in there. Crazy enough, Mary J. Blige- Be Without You started playing and I began to feel guilty.

"Chemistry was crazy from the get-go, neither one of us knew why.
We didn't build nothing overnight,
'cause a love like this takes some time. People swore it off as a phase, said we can't see that."

I didn't want any of that to happen but it did, and I can't take it back. I now know that I no longer am in control of my body, Leon is. I'm being an idiot, I'm aware of that but I can't find myself telling on him. Doing that would bring more attention and humiliation to not only me but Dale as well. So the best thing for me to do is to keep my mouth shut.

++++

I was in our room, watching the show 'Greenleaf' when Dale walked in looking surprisingly happy. Not too happy though. He took his clothes off and laid next to me. It went silent for a moment, then Dale said, "Aren't you going to say something, love?"

"Um, I just thought you'd still be upset with me after our little argument."

"Look, I'm sorry. I overreacted, I shouldn't have talked to you that way and I promise I'll work on controlling myself. Will you accept my apology?"

I should be the one apologizing. "Of course, I accept your apology. I love you, Dale." I then gave him a peck on the lips. We cuddled and watched 'Greenleaf' all night until we drifted off to sleep.

++++

I woke up before Dale, so I got dressed and went to the kitchen to make him and I breakfast. I still haven't gone shopping for food yet, so there weren't too many options. So I decided on making Waffles, eggs, bacon, and grits. As I was preparing the food, I heard a knock on the door.

I thought it was Lara or Nate, but luck is not on my side today, or any day. It's Leon. Last time Dale wasn't here to catch us, I'm glad that he didn't because he has a temper almost worse than mine.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I asked.

"I want you."

"No, it's too damn early for that and my boyfriend could wake up any minute."

"Do you really think I care about your 'boyfriend'? News flash, I don't."

I began to get really aggravated. "Leon, please not today. Dale is not someone you want to cross, trust me on this."

He ran his hand through his wavy hair, then caressed my face, leaning in to kiss me. Any other time, he would be rough with it, but this time he actually was gentle.

"I'll be back soon." Without saying anything else, he left. I sighed in relief.

As I continue to cook, the image of Leon and his voice just kept popping up in my head. Now that I'm carrying his child, he's apart of me. If I could change that, I would but I can't and its killing me inside. If only I didn't go to that club, I wouldn't be in this mess. Now my relationship that I've worked so hard for is in jeopardy and I might have a miscarriage due to all this stress.

"Good morning," Dale said. I just looked at him, with tears waiting to fall. "What's wrong, love?" I ran into his arms and cried in his shoulder. We stayed like that for some time, while he whispered 'its going to be okay' in my ear.

"I don't want to do this anymore, Dale. I want everything to go back to normal."

"I know, I want the same too but as long as we have each other, we'll be okay."

"No, it won't. Leon is-, " Damn it, I can't ever shut the hell up. Now he's gonna start questioning me about him and I don't want to talk about Leon with Dale, it just makes me uncomfortable and tense.

"What about Leon?" I didn't answer, so he pushed me off of him. "What were you about to say? Tell me, Braxton!"

"Don't yell at me, don't you forget who I am because I can still beat your ass."

"No! I'm not going to stop! I'm sick and tired of you lying to me, you know who got you pregnant. So just tell me!"

"I can't!"

"Why? What does he have on you... did he take advantage of you again?"

I cried even harder, stuttering as I speak. "Ye-s... I'm sor-ry."

"Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything wrong."

" 'Cause I didn't tell you sooner and I just let him do this to me without fighting back. I just gave in, all of this could have been prevented."

"Braxton, listen to me, this is not your fault. That guy is a sick bastard, he raped you and got you pregnant. Don't ever blame yourself for this, you deserve justice and that's what you're going to get."

++++

After we had our little moment, we ate breakfast and he went off to work. He didn't want to but I convinced him to go. I honestly need time to myself, my life is getting worse every day. I don't know if I can do it much longer. Maybe if I go live with my parents again, everything will go back to normal. If I do though, I hope they take me back in, my mom probably hate me after deciding to be with Dale.

"Well, we meet again," Leon said. "Come on, take your clothes off. I don't have much time."

"... No."

"What do you mean 'no'?"

"No, as in I'm not sleeping with you. This has gone on long enough, you're not gonna keep doing this to me."

"I will do as I please! Now take them off!"

"I SAID NO! Now get the fuck out of my house bitch before I kill yo ass!"

"Oh please, you're just a weak little whore who thinks she's tough."

"And you're just a sorry excuse of a person who rapes women." I opened the drawer and grabbed the sharpest knife. "You got ten seconds to leave or its going to be a blood bath, mines not included."