Bang Bang

Little Special Thread

"Who art thou? One of us thou art not. If thou hast misstepped into here, leave. If thou seekest I, thine desire shall be requited not.." the words fumble out of my mouth. In warm breath.
Thinking of him again?
No. I don't want to.
So why are you coming back to mind with him? You hate him.
I know I do.
Is he..thinking of you?

I get up and ignore myself. I knock on the bedroom door, "Hey, I'll be out. Need anything?"
The door opens. I look up to Clay. He holds up a small string necklace. My necklace. "You took it off?"
I didn't answer. He wasn't the one who gave me that necklace of thread. It was a gift. From Mexico, Guanajuato. My father was born there. Raised there too until he had came to the United States. My mother was raised and born in Arkansas. Her grandparents were from Spain. So a wonder of hispanic I am..
I look to the necklace, "Thought I didn't need it anymore."
"You can't just throw away who you are-"
"I'm not!" I snatch it out from his hands, "It's just a stupid thread supposedly to protect me. It doesn't work!"
"Look how you're acting. When you have it on it's like you're happy. Look at you now."

How can I be happy. After everything I scarce for you. "Thanks." I say, "I'm surprised you never called your folks."
"Why would I?"
"They are your family."
"And what about yours?"
I grind my teeth, "Don't play dumb."
"Well. No. I doubt I'll ever call them.." He narrows his eyes.
"Pay them a visit?"
"Don't think so."

OK. He obviously doesn't want anything with them. Great to test that out I guess. I look away. The dejavu got to me. I knew he cared about them. Eventually in time, a choice will be made. One of us will know where we stand in the end. I remember my mother. I wish she would've treated me better.

I put the necklace on, "Happy?"
"I'm impressed."
I roll my eyes and smile. Shaking my head. He leaves me. Heading outside. I hate to bring his folks up. Just hearing their voices rings my head. Because it left me with a scar spiritually. I don't want to hate them. And I don't.

But you easily get annoyed.
It's not my fault things happen.
You care just a little.
I try not to..

I don't want to think about..
I scratch my neck, thinking about stuff like that makes me itch sometimes.

Clay had left the house. I didn't mind.. I just need a shower...