Bang Bang

Please..just before this nightmare

"Hey Rikkun!!" Clay's voice wakes me up from my sleep. I sit up groaning scratching my head. It was 1:00pm. What did..where is he?
I get up and wander off around in to the living room. The TV was off and the couch didn't seem like it was sat on. Dusty was perched next to the window. I go over to the front door to exit. Clay had parked a truck on the front yard, "Hey, look what I found!" He smiles greatly being proud. Of course he can drive. He didn't take long to learn. I'm not of the best driver anyways. "Holy shit man.." I giggle, "How?"
"I still had my keys. Decided to bolt it."
"Wow, I'm a little impressed." I grin a little. Wish he was like that before this shit happened..
He shuts the door after turing the car off locking it, "Now we can go even further to get food and other things."
"You are right there. Just gas to worry about there."
"Leave that to me." He smiles holding my shoulder pulling me close to him. I get it, he's doing his best right now.
I'm surprised, Clay knows how to drive pretty well. Likes to spook me, but even so it wasn't bad. I was OK as a driver in car base vehicles. I get nervous because the because the vehicles are a little bigger than a bike. A motorcycle was a little simple. Just watch the speed and direction. You'd be fine as long as you can see. I glance away with an embarrassing smile, Clay use to drive me around when he first got a taste for the steering wheel. Him holding my hand those days, the music, just the silly moments too.
Clay kisses my head, "We should go for a drive."
"Are you sure?"
"I mean, yeah why not." Clay chuckles, "Besides. We should probably get food now."
"Yeah, yeah you're right." I nod my head.

There were a lot of things I wanted to tell Clay about. Before all this. Talk about our insecurities. The problems occurring. Our situations. Maybe just some deep thoughts. Reality. I didn't need the romance part just to create a good bond for us. I love to talk, be asked questions. Just enjoy our risky teen love life. Just being teenagers. Thrill. Sometimes wild. Classic dates. Not just..rushed. I had always said "yes" to him. I could never say "no." Even if he calls me out on that, I never  say how I feel about things.. I should have asked things.. I never did. I could never think of things at those moments. And to rethink I could have done...the worse for me. What am I holding on to?...