We were both sitting on the couch, John and I, watching some horror movie that, for once, was really scary. I was cold, since I didn’t have my shirt on anymore, and John noticed me shivering. “Why don’t you get something to put on, if you’re that cold?” he asked, his eyes not one moment leaving the TV-screen. “I’m not cold.” I mumbled. That was not true. But I was way too chicken to get up, and turn my back to the television screen, afraid that some evil person was going to attack me from behind. John finally turned his head at me, and smiled innocently. “Are you scared?” I raised my shoulders. “Maybe.” He chuckled. “I’ll protect you, you can go get a sweater.” I shook my head. “Won’t you please go get me my sweater?” John laughed again. “And leave you alone with the TV? I don’t think so. I don’t want you to be murdered in my living-room.” I groaned and shivered again. I tried to hug myself, without success; I didn’t feel any warmer than I did three minutes ago. I kept trembling, and finally John said: “For God’s sake, Ly, if you are too afraid to get you sweater, then at least let me hold you,” he laughed. “I don’t want to have to carry you to your bed because you changed into an ice cube.” It was my turn to laugh. I moved over to the middle of the couch and John put his right arm around me. I immediately felt warmer, but still had goose bumps all over my arms.
I already drank at least three glasses of wine, and it leaded to the fact that I didn’t feel uncomfortable at all in Johns arms. It was exactly how I imagined it the whole evening. After a while I took the chance to snuggle up to John some more, and to let my head rest on his chest. The movie didn’t get half of my interest since I lay so close to John. When I gave my thoughts the green light I realized more and more that I found him very attractive. Especially when he was teasing me like he had been doing this whole day.
“Are you still cold?” he whispered in my ear. “A little.” I admitted. He put his hand on my arm and started to rub with large movements. “Better?” His lips were so close to my ear that I could actually feel him say the words. A whole new shiver went through my body. I nodded and carefully looked up to Johns face through my eyelashes. His dark eyes were intensely looking at me, and our eyes met. I felt my cheeks turning red but couldn’t let go of his eyes. I felt like a prisoner caught in an invisible net. The only difference between me and a prisoner was that I didn’t want to be freed at all. If I had to, I’d be able to sit there for the rest of time. John smiled endearing at me, and then turned his eyes back to the TV. I sighed notable and also looked back at the TV-screen. One of the lead characters was being killed on a very bloody way, and I closed my eyes for a split second. Then I had almost jumped up because I felt something touching me hair, but I realized almost immediately that it was John who had decided to let his head rest on mine. It was most likely the alcohol that gave me the courage, but I put my arm around John’s chest. I didn’t dare to look up to see his reaction, so for the rest of the movie I kept my eyes focused on the movie. It seemed to last for ages, but half an hour later, it finally was over. John took his arm away from me, and I let his chest go. I felt lonely right away. John got up to turn off the television set, and I watched him. When he got back to the couch he leaned over and poured the last bit of wine into our two glasses. He handed me one, and we just sat in the dark, drinking wine in silence. After a few sips John asked: “Did you like the movie?” I smiled sheepishly. “It was pretty scary.” John laughed. It was a sound that almost immediately made me feel comfortable and warm inside. “You’re not too afraid to sleep alone, are you?” John joked. I almost said that I was, and that I wouldn’t mind sleeping next to him. But I shook my head and said: “No, I won’t come bother you tonight.” John smiled, and we both got up. “Can I escort you to your room, miss?” John asked while he held out his arm for me. “Sure you can.” With my nose in the air, as if I was the celebrity, and not the John Mayer, I hooked my arm into his one. We walked through the hall and I stopped at the bathroom. “I’ll take a shower before going to bed.” John laughed. “Good, I’ll shower in the morning. Goodnight, Ly.” he said. I pulled my arm back but didn’t move. Finally I asked with a small voice: “Can I hug you goodnight?” John laughed again. “Sure,” he held out his arms for me. When I embraced him, he added: “We haven’t hugged enough tonight, huh?” I could hear the smile in his voice. I giggled silently because my face was pressed against Johns shoulder. Eventually we let go of each other and I went into the bathroom to take a shower.
When I got in my room with my hair still wet, I saw on my alarm clock that it was already two in the morning. As if seeing the late hour suddenly made me sleepy, I yawned. I closed the curtains after looking for a moment at the view. I loved New York City at this time. The lights we’re beautiful, and the city really never seemed to sleep. With a smile that had much to do with how it went tonight between John and me, I got in my bed and crawled up under the duvet.
Half an hour later I was still awake. That stupid movie had really made me scared. First I thought about opening the door, but that didn’t feel safe. What if something came in? So I came up with the idea of just leaving the door closed, but that didn’t feel safe either. I felt locked up. I was tired as hell and tossed and turned for thirty minutes again, but it didn’t help at all. I finally was able to talk myself into getting something to drink in the kitchen. I left on all the lights, but it didn’t help anything. I was so self-conscious that I felt like being watched all the time, from every direction. Plan A was to sit down in the kitchen while drinking a glass of water, but I realized I wouldn’t be able to run like a ninja when I was sitting down. So I leaned against the kitchen unit and kept my eyes and ears open. I heard something coming from the corridor, and couldn’t seem to move. I thought about some escape routes, but also realized that I was unlikely to survive a fall from the fifth floor. Then John stood in the doorway. “What are you still doing up?” he asked while he walked to the kitchen table and pulled back a chair so he could sit down. I blushed and looked at the white kitchen tiles. John guessed. “Were you afraid?” I saw that he held back a smile. I looked at his face and saw only now that he was only dressed in boxers. I nodded and couldn’t help but to smile also a little. He checked of something on an invisible checklist. “Not able to watch scary movies and have a good night’s rest.” He chuckled. I finished my glass of water and said: “I can sleep. Watch me.” I put the glass in the sink and walked back to my room. I crawled up under the blanket again and felt pretty safe. But from the moment I heard John turning off the lights, and heard him going back to his room I felt as anxious as before our meeting in the kitchen. About twenty minutes later I couldn’t take it anymore and got out of my bed again. I went to the toilet and when I left the bathroom I hesitated. I had the feeling that I had nothing to lose anyway, and went to the right.
When I stood in front of the door of Johns room I hesitated again. Then I knocked. When I was just telling myself that I should stop acting so ridiculous and should get back to bed, I heard John say: “Come in.” I slowly opened the door and peeked into the room. It was dark and I could barely separate John’s silhouette from the darkness. “Is it ok if I come in?” I whispered. “Yeah, sure.” John said sleepy. “Come in.” I went inside and kept standing at the door. “Did I wake you?” I asked. I felt so stupid. I was not brave enough to get some sleep in an apartment where obviously was nothing scary. “Yes,” John answered, “but that doesn’t matter. What’s up?” I didn’t answer right away, but realized that there was no other way of saying it. “I can’t sleep.” John chuckled. “And I was wondering…” I hesitated, “if it would be ok if I’d sleep in your bed tonight.” John laughed. The sound of his voice turned into laughter was a calming sound, and I immediately felt more comfortable. “Yeah,” I heard him smile. “Why not, I guess.”
