At one in the morning I realized that I still hadn’t fallen asleep. I punched a few times in my pillow and tried again to relax and just fall asleep. Of course I didn’t. I got out of bed and groaned silently. I went to the bathroom and afterwards decided to get myself some warm milk with honey. When I approached the kitchen the lights were already turned on. When I walked into the modern kitchen with white tiles I saw John sitting on a kitchen chair. “Morning.” I sighed. “Hi Ly.” he said politely. “How was your date?” I asked while I poured some milk into a mug and put it in the microwave. There was no need to ask, really. I heard enough through my wall. “It was good.” he said. He didn’t smile or gave anything away about what had happened. I decided to stab myself in my chest by asking anyway. “What happened? Did you guys kiss? Have sex?” He started to smile now. “Could you hear?” he asked. I nodded. “Why are you asking, then?” I smiled sadly. “I just want to make sure you still tell me everything.” I muttered while I reached for the jar of honey in one of the cupboards. I kept standing with my back towards him while I stirred in the milk. I didn’t hear him approach by the sound of my own loud thoughts and jumped up when I felt him standing behind me. He hugged me from behind. “I’ll always tell you everything.” he whispered in my ear. I couldn’t believe how, after three years of good, normal friendship I could now be falling in love with this guy. Sure, he was sweet. And we’d match up perfectly. But why on earth now? Why not when he wasn’t dating anyone and I maybe had a chance to make him mine?
I sighed and shivered at the same time. My feet and legs were getting cold because I was only wearing a pair of boxers under my oversized t-shirt. I managed to turn around in his grip and asked what he was still doing up. “I couldn’t sleep.” he answered. It was only then that it occurred to me how tired he looked. Still sexy and handsome, but very tired. “How come?” I asked while I took a sip of the hot milk. He shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ve been awake too many times at night, this week.” I knew what he meant. For me it also started to feel as a growing habit. Instead of sleeping at night my body would rather be in the cold kitchen drinking hot milk. “I’m going to sit in the living room.” I informed him. “Do you want to come, or are you going back to bed?” He looked down the hall as if the answer was written on the wall. He shrugged again. “I’ll come with you.”
Half an hour later we were still both sitting on his couch. Everyone had forgotten about my mug of milk as John poured another glass of wine in for both of us. I took a sip. “So,” I started.
“What?”
“Is she the one?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. I do really like her. And she’s pretty an-“ “That’s an understatement.” I interrupted him. He chuckled. “Don’t exaggerate.” I smiled. “I’m not.” He looked at me, seriously now. “Come on, Ly. You ought to know you’re just as pretty, if not prettier than her.” I almost choked on my wine and burst into laughter when I could breathe properly again. “You have to be kidding me.” I said while I punched softly against his shoulder. He still looked very serious. “Nope.” I raised my brows. He seemed to be honest. John was a pro in making everything harder, on me, I realized. He was so sweet caring and still not too much of any of it, that it was a wonder that there exist women who can resist him. He drank from his wine. “What are you thinking?” he asked, his eyes never leaving mine. I had to come up with something good, fast. “Ehm, I, I was thinking about how I’m going to be a wreck at work tomorrow.” John grinned. “Probably.” It was silent for a moment. Then he said: “We should go to bed, don’t you think?” I nodded. If he’d only had an idea of me wanting to go to his bed. We both got up and I started to pick up the bottle and glasses when John put his hand on mine. “Leave it, I’ll clean up tomorrow.” I nodded again and put everything back down. We walked through the hallway, I first and John behind me. I opened the door to my room and went inside. I turned around to wish him goodnight, but he started talking before I had a chance. “Good night, Ly.” he said, and he bent over to kiss me on the forehead. I sighed soundless and then said: “Goodnight, John.” I closed the door and slowly walked to bed. When I just got comfortable under my blanket, someone knocked on the door. “Yes?” I asked. The door opened and I could see John. He smiled widely at me. “What is it?” I asked. I couldn’t help but to smile back. “I just came to check if you aren’t too scared to sleep alone.” he said playfully.
I threw a pillow at his head.
