❥ heart of gold ➛Van Dijk

⁸ | your mind's in disturbia

"
it's like the darkness is the light
disturbia, am I scaring you tonight?
disturbia, it ain't used to what you like
disturbia, disturbia
"
i love this song so much ugh I'm listening to it on repeat atm

Again I can't express how sorry I am for updating now, I was struggling so much with school meanwhile :/ but it's impressive and heart warming when I think of the sweet messages I received in the mean time. Thank you all for your incredible support as always❤️❤️❤️

AND I have holidays next week so I finally get more time to write :)

warning: mentions of abuse / graphic content

_______________________

Soon, my feet stopped me behind Ms. Fawcett. She stepped aside, revealing the door that's labeled as the referee room of the stadium.

"I guess that's the moment where you have to go in alone, Marly. Good luck, I think it won't take long. Afterwards, we'll meet up again before we travel back" she informed me and I just nodded, not getting a word out. Damn anxiety.

Good luck? What does that mean?

I pushed down the door handle with my shaking hand and saw a small office kind of room, Klopp was already sitting behind the desk.

"Hello, you wanted to meet me?" I said in a high voice.

"Oh, hello Marly" he stood up and shook hands with me and had a bright smile on his face.
"I asked if we could use this referee room for our quick meeting. I will tell you everything now because I'm afraid the sooner I will tell you, the better it is for you to plan. We don't have much more time where I can tell you" he began explaining.

Great, now I felt more anxious than before.

"But let's just start off with the most important thing. How are you feeling so far?"

I was taken aback by that question to be honest. I still wanted to know what he will tell me.

"I'm feeling comfortable at the club. Everyone's been nice and friendly in the last few weeks" I answered honestly.

"That's good to hear. And are you feeling comfortable with the boys? Is anyone bothering you? I know what happened, Marly. I try everything to make it better for you. It must be hard keeping the same job after everything you had to endure" he told me softly.

Oh right, he was the only one of the club who knew about the incident in Madrid too.

But what should I say? He's somewhat of a boss for me too and I don't want to mess it up. What if he suddenly doesn't want me here anymore? Why does he even want to speak with me in first place?

"Uhm..no, everything's been great" I lied and hid it behind a assuring smile. My heart was beating like a hummingbird.

He leaned forward.

"Marly, I promise you that you can talk to me. You don't need to be afraid of me. I won't judge you in any way." He reassured me.

I let out a deep breath before nodding.

"Actually, there was a moment.. I was doing x ray photographs with Xherdan and... I don't know, the memories just came flooding back all at once.. I swear, I've never experienced that in Liverpool so far" I explained, stuttering. I looked down in embarrassment.

That's it. I said it. He's going to fire me.
The thought of it let tears well up in my eyes. I can't cry. Not today. Not when I'm in Leicester.

"Marly, hey..." He stood up and stepped towards me, laying his arm around my shoulder.