Cole-
Cole, you need to come out sooner or later.
please come out, please
just don't do anything you'll regret okay?
The words flashed through my phone screen surrounded by utter darkness except for the stream of moonlight that came through the sunlight.
As soon as I had heard of her death, I just shut myself off from the world. I didn't want to talk to anyone, their words didn't help, no one's did. My friends and family grew more worried about me, I didn't care. I had become numb to any feeling.
I found myself playing her favourite songs on my computer while scrolling through old pictures of her and the videos she used to take on my phone just to piss me off. At the time, it would've annoyed me, but now I just miss it. The way she used to smile, the sneeze she would call stupid,
I missed it all. I would even listen to old voicemails just so I could hear her voice, again and again and again. I just want her back. So badly.
Dana-
The boys forced me get out and have some fun. It's been months since her death, they told me that Y/N would've wanted me to be happy. What lies, the whole reason you're not here babe is because of my stupid selfishness. I just wish I could've told you everything that I wanted you to hear, before everything happened.
As I arrived to the party. I swear, I saw her face everywhere. In every girl I saw by the food area, the girl sitting on the sofa playing video games, in the girl that was dancing right in front of me. Everything reminded me of her. The songs playing, she always liked this kind of bass pumping music.
"Dana?" I swear I heard her voice. Is she here? No, that's impossible. She's gone. I suddenly started to feel my hands shake and my knees give in to the weight of my body.
"Dana? You okay?" Will asked trying to hold me steady.
"I can't do it. I see her. I see her everywhere."
Will-
The tears just kept on coming and coming. I tried to stop them but attempts would be useless. The boys were there for me when I got the news and are still here for me right now. They comfort me with soothing words and I just nod.
I couldn't speak, I didn't want to, I had no words. I ended up just writing little thank you notes to them. They didn't question it. I hadn't talked for over 2 months.
Eventually, I had gotten back into making music since that was always something that had made me happy. I started writing songs. And writing some more. Using every word as an apology for not being there for her. This is how I would channel my sadness, through music. By the end of the third month, I had written over 20 songs, all about her.
That day, I had arrived at the studio where the boys were recording. They were surprised yet glad I had came.
"I wrote some songs," I said in a small voice giving a little smile at the boys.
David-
The moment I got the news of her death. I just lost it. I punched a hole right through the dry wall of the hospital which led to a train of yells and scoldings from the boys and the nurses. I couldn't take it, I refused to believe any of it.
I yelled at the boys. It wasn't right and I knew it, but I still did it. It was the only way to keep me from having to cope with it all. It was to be angry.
Every time the boys would see me, they would look at me with eyes full of fear. They were scared me, i had become some rampaged monster to them. I wouldn't blame.
This one night, I just remember being to angry to the point where my vision was blurred. Then, a dozen holes in the wall and a coffee table smashed in half later with a fistful of glass and rubble and blood, I finally broke down. I shrivelled up into the corner of my now destroyed room and cried and cried.
Gabe-
"No, no. She's not gone," I rambled running my hand through my hair.
"I'm so sorry," Dana murmured.
"No. She can't be! I refuse to believe that crap! I just got off the phone with her not even three hours ago! How can she crash a car in that amount of time?!" I screamed throwing a chair across the room.
"I don't know. Look we'll just-"
"No! She can't be gone. She's probably just playing a joke on us, right? She's probably sitting at home, watching some stupid Netflix show while eating a bag of chips. Yeah," I fooled myself so ease some of the pain.
"Gabe! Stop! Okay!? This isn't good for you," Dana tried to grab onto my shoulders to steady myself but I just yanked him off.
"Screw off! Just. Just please tell me this is a joke," I said, tears blurring up my vision.
"I can't, I wish I could," Dana replied pulling me into a hug.
"I just don't want to be true. Please, just make her come back. I want her back," I mumbled into his shoulder.
~
Qt://http://beh-zone.tumblr.com/post/96575864614/preference-4-how-he-deals-with-your-death
