Bytes of Passion

Chapter 22

The computer said they were an hour out from Baccarus 3, and Teegan still wasn't in the cockpit. The autopilot couldn't handle landing, at least not in the narrow strip of land he'd planned to use.

"Teegan?" She knocked lightly on his door. When he didn't answer, she entered. She'd never been in his cabin before. He always came to her cabin or the galley to talk. The last few nights when she headed to her cabin he headed straight to the cargo bay, presumably to work out. Up until now, she'd wondered if he been sleeping there on the mats in the cargo bay, to get as far away from her as he could.

Just thinking about the mats brought a warmth to her cheeks. Sleeping with him had been a mistake, though a very pleasurable one. It wasn't until afterwards that she'd regretted giving into her attraction to Teegan. At the time she'd figured it would relieve the tension, give her something by which to remember him. There shouldn't have been any pain afterwards, because she fully expected him to walk away. Only he hadn't. Instead, she'd done the walking, to control the hurt.

The pain she'd seen in his face had sliced through her, and that was downright confusing. She shouldn't have feelings for him, not with how he'd betrayed her. Did it matter that he thought he hadn't placed her in any real danger? Somewhat... except instead of simply telling her whatever it was that he was hiding, he promised she'd never have to see him again once this whole business with Dennison and the Goldsmiths was over –except that wasn't what she wanted.

Her fingers reached out to him... no, she wanted Teegan with all his rough spots, his flirty behavior and even his secrets. She barely stopped herself from touching him and skimmed the soft blanket instead. Standing here in his room, taking in his scent and not touching him was hard, really hard. He planned on leaving her... was that because she'd pushed him away or given him an easy out?

"We're an hour out, Teegan," she said as she took in his room which appeared more like a soldier's quarters, with its grey beddings, and immaculate surfaces. Whatever personal affects he had must have been stowed in the built-in cubbies. As for Teegan, he was lying on the bed staring at the wall opposite his bed. He hadn't even acknowledged her presence. She took a deep breath – she had to move forward, leave any residual feelings for Teegan in the past. Never mind that she wanted to touch him, to have his grey eyes undress her as his full lips formed a smile that hinted of a decadence she longed to explore with him. Gods, she was an idiot for wanting him.

"What is all this?" she asked, following his line of sight to the five rows of random objects affixed to the wall opposite his bed ­– a wall of art with no apparent theme. A jagged piece of metal, a piece of a black fabric, pen, three river rocks, a leaf encased in vacuum-sealed glass ­– probably so it wouldn't decay – a pink ribbon, and other assorted junk. The very last object caught her eye... her silver hair clip. She thought she'd lost it.

"Memories," he said, still staring at the objects, his fingers were interlaced behind his head.

"Of people you know?"

"People I don't want to forget."

Her hairclip was on that wall.

Skylar swallowed hard. No one had ever cared enough to do something like that before. This was not the time to think about his good qualities, like how he always brought her coffee in her favorite mug, how he'd made sure she had several changes of clothing and toiletries before they'd left Picos, or how after she'd fallen asleep with her head in his lap he'd carried her to bed and watched over her on Quintero.

"You need a pen, Princess?"

Her fingers had been gliding over the pen. "Doesn't seem like a pen would hold a lot of memories," she said, hoping he didn't notice how lost in thought she'd been.

"Depends what the person did with the pen."

She jerked her hand away. "I don't think I want to know."

"You don't," he said, smirking at some joke only he knew. Those intense grey eyes had shifted from the wall, to her. She needed to turn his focus away from her, before that look of his started melting her clothing.

She ran her finger against the smooth satiny length of the pink ribbon, and her thoughts quickly turned to the idea of stroking a part of him that was just as satiny soft. "And this ribbon? Can't be anything bad," she said, eager to get the image of him out of her head.

"You'd be surprised."

She jerked her hand away again. "Anything here that won't creep me out?"

"The rocks."

"From a hiking trip?"

"Yes, but we needed them to keep a window open on base each time Koppers used the bathroom."

"Men are disgusting."

He laughed out loud this time, which had a contagious effect. She laughed, suddenly feeling like herself again. He made it so easy. "What about the leaf?"

"Home."

"Which is where?"

"Anywhere not in space."

"Ahh, I can see that. It's too quiet up here. And I miss having a breeze. I never really appreciated what a breeze felt like until I was on Baccarus 3 with Margaret and Ephram. The closest we came to a breeze on Quintero Station was when the maintenance crew was pressure-cleaning the vents."

"I miss you, Princess," he said, his eyes filled with longing. The man could undress her with such a look, but he wasn't. Those grey eyes of his were trying to find their way into her soul. She would have preferred he undress her, with his eyes, his hands... either, as long as he didn't expect her to open her heart to him, not again.

She was about to touch the jagged metal and noticed the dried blood. There was no need to ask about this one. Shrapnel.

"Master Sergeant Sid Mickaelson," he began without her asking. "Killed four years, three months and five days ago while on leave visiting his brothers for his birthday. A man who had an easy-going attitude and loved to preach to his unit to keep their spirits up. They nicknamed him Monk. He had just turned thirty-two."

Monk32. Skylar wiped away the tears filling her eyes. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. You didn't kill him."

Teegan rolled off the bed and strolled into the hallway, his entire body brimming with a pent up rage that had no outlet. She let him leave. Her memory was bad, most personal things about the middle of her life gone or very fragmented, but she remembered what had happened four years ago. No wars, only minor skirmishes here and there, but nothing involving the military. There had been a terrorist attack at a bio-dome on Vandar, killing several hundred people. The group responsible was Devon's Disciples.

No, she hadn't kill Teegan's brother, but she might as well have. She'd had enough memories of assassinated Keepers and blueprints to places that the terrorists had bombed to know one thing... she was one of Devon's Disciples.