City of Shattered Glass

Part 4: Fire and Ash

Jace stared at the lifting smoke as the funeral pyre burned. Stray ashes lifted into the sky, wafting through the air. People stood around the hundreds of fires that honored their dead, dressed in their mourning white. To his right stood Isabelle, her eyes filled with tears, and to his left stood Alec. His face was pail and expressionless as he stared at the place where his brother had been laying only moments ago. His worry grew with each passing hour, not just for Clary, but for his Parabatai. He wasn't responding as he should. Sure, Jace hadn't expected him to cry but he worried that Alec was blaming himself. Now Jace really couldn't expect Alec to help him find Clary, not while his family was suffering this loss. But there was one thing that scared Jace more than the expressionless face his friend wore. It was the idea that Alec may begin distancing himself from Jace, pushing him away.

Jace pulled at the buttons on the bottom of his white shirt. His lip was bleeding from where he had been constantly chewing it the past day and a half. He had thought for hours on end, trying to figure out why Valentine could want Clary, but his mind was blank. All he could come up with was that his father—Valentine was trying to get at him. He had never cared about Clary, as far as Jace knew. As he stared down at his hands, a piece of ash landed on his callused hand. Guilt filled Jace as he returned his gaze to Max's pyre. For the fifth time that day, Jace reminded himself that he should be honoring Max, not thinking of Clary. But he couldn't help it, nothing could stop the overbearing weight of worry for her. She might already be dead, but Jace wouldn't accept that. He would've known, he would know. Clary was alive but she could be hurt or worse. She was hurt, Sebastian—Jonathan had shoved that arrowhead into her leg. The cry that had come from Clary Had ripped through Jace with such force that even now he almost doubled over panting.

Isabelle turned to him, her cheeks wet, but her eyes filled with worry, "Jace," her voice was painfully uneven, "Are you alright?"

He gave her a slight smile, "I'm fine Iz. It's you I'm worried about." Jace wrapped his arm around her, crushing her into a side hug. He didn't know who he was comforting, Isabelle or himself.

"You shouldn't be," she shrugged, unenthusiastically, "it's normal for people to cry when they lose someone. Alec is just standing there all stone-faced."

Jace glances over at Izzy's brother, "I was just thinking the same thing. But this is Alec we're talking about, he'll be like this for a while."

She sighed, "I guess you're right." Izzy turned back to the fire, blinking away the new tears that sprang to her eyes.

"Iz," he said to regain her attention, "you know I'm going to find Clary after this, right?"

She looked at him as if he was an idiot, which he probably was, "Of course. None of us expected you to do any differently. Besides, we all want you to find her."

He shook his head, "That's not what I meant. I mean, yes, I'm going after Clary, but I want you to make sure Alec doesn't follow me. He's been through enough already."

Her eyes widened in surprise, "You can't go alone. Maybe I should go with you, you can't fight Valentine on your own."

"Izzy," he said softly, "You and Alec both just lost someone close to you. You guys are going to need time to recover."

"So did you. Just give us some time, give Alec some time—" her voice grew desperate.

"Clary doesn't have time, Iz. I have to go now, but that doesn't mean you have to. Plus, I need you and Alec at the council meetings so things don't fly off the rails while I'm gone."

Izzy's large eyes stared at him, "You're really leaving, aren't you?" Jace nodded slightly, "I know I can't stop you Jace, but just please come back to us in one piece."