𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬 / 𝐣𝐨𝐡𝐧𝐧𝐲 𝐬𝐞𝐨

xxii

johnny stared at the girl from across the lunchroom. though she would normally sit at the table he's currently sitting at, she can't bring herself to it so she sat with a few other friends. somin turned her head to look over at the table and her eyes met with his, causing her to turn her head back quickly.

his eyes lit up once they met with hers but his hopeful look turned into a sad frown once she turned around faster than the speed of light. all he wanted was to hold her once more. she didn't even need to forgive him at this point, he just wanted to be close to her once again. that's how desperate he was. "she can't even look at me.." he muttered to himself.

everyone thinks that he's going crazy. they've never seen johnny like this. sure, he may look fine but he's having a mental war with himself. he's constantly reminding himself how he's stupid for hooking up with sohee even though he likes somin.

no.

he doesn't like her.

it's taken him long enough to realize that he doesn't like her.

he fell in love with her.

way before he realized it.

johnny has always used the term 'i love you' so lightly, he never really knew what love was until now. the way his heart fluttered whenever she smiled around him and how he felt as if it would burst out of his chest, the way he wanted to give her all his love whenever she cried over the smallest things, the way he would give her his jacket when they were out walking in the cold, everything made sense.

everything made sense once he lost her.

yeon looked at johnny concerned as he usually wasn't this quiet. "go talk to her." she said, tapping him on the shoulder to gain his attention. "i know we're not that close, but it hurts me as much as it hurts somin knowing that you two aren't talking."

"won't she hate me though? i've seen her when she's mad, she's scary."

"shut up." yeon scoffed. "somin? scary? those two don't go together. you, on the other hand, are scary. super tall, look like a stoner-" she stopped. "sorry. i'm getting off topic. what i'm trying to say is that you should just go talk to her. it won't hurt to try."

johnny pauses for a moment. she was right. there was nothing wrong in trying. go big or go home. "you're right. thanks yeon, i really needed that."

"i know."

the male took a deep breath to gain all his confidence and to prepare himself for the worst. he doesn't know why he's so nervous. is it the fact that he loves her? is it the fact that she might lash out on him? he doesn't know at all. but all that he does know is that he's going to talk with her.

johnny finally got up from the lunch table after five minutes and walked over to where somin was sitting. he couldn't believe that he was doing this. after the days he spent locked up in his room and crying over what happened, he's finally talking to her.

when johnny first walked over, somin was not prepared for it at all. she was doing so well and when he got her, she wanted to burst out in tears. the worst part is that she wanted johnny to hold her while she did so. he hurt her but she wanted him to hold her. 'jesus, why am i like this?' she asked herself, looking up at johnny with a curious look.

the way her eyes met with his, he was gone right then and there. it's the first time she's looked at him for more than 3 seconds. "hey somin.. can we uh- can we talk?"

somin was dumbfounded. she expected him to say that, but she also didn't expect him to say it now. barely even getting to contemplate it, one of her friends shoved her off the bench and to johnny. she looked back at them and they just smiled. her head turned back to look at johnny. "yeah, sure."