Beauty School Drop Out

XIII

"Phil! Phil, who are you wearing?"
"Cynthia, did Phil buy you that Versace coat? Or do you have a sugar daddy on the side?"
"Are you guys planning on having more kids?"
"Are you able to have more kids with your constant drug use?"

Paparazzi were shouting at us as we made our way to dinner with Blue. Cynthia had him up on her hip as she clutched him close. She was sporting a Versace coat fresh off the runway and some Chanel sunglasses, while I was in a custom made Gucci suit with a pair of ray ban sunglasses.

Our annual income had recently been bumped up to the millions so we thought we'd start treating ourselves. A few months ago I purchased a gold Camaro and bought Cynthia a Ferrari she was eyeing for a couple years. Blue had been shocked at all the changes we were making around the house—the house included. We moved into a multimillion pound mansion outside of the city where we could flaunt our wealth in peace.

"Cynthia! Are you cheating on your husband?"
"Bugger off! We're not even married!" she shouted.
"Phil, are you still seeing your boyfriend on the side?"
"Daddy has a boyfriend?" Blue whispered.
"No he doesn't, c'mon."

Cynthia pulled on my lapel and dragged me into the snooty restaurant. We were escorted into the very back so we were out of the public eye. She lit up a joint and started puffing away as if it were a cigarette.

"Can I have a hit?" I asked.
"Mhmm." She passed me the cig and I took a long drag.
"Mummy, it smells bad," Blue pouted.
"No it doesn't," she spat.
"You'll see when your older," I chuckled.
"I don't wanna see..."
"Can't help it sometimes, baby boy."

***

"Phil! Phil!" a couple reporters yelled. I looked to them, puffed on my cigarette, and continued talking to Dan.
"So where's this shop again?" I mumbled.
"Just up the–"
"How long have you and your boyfriend been together‽"
"Street," Dan sighed. "He said that it should be fitted for you now."
"And what about Cindy's outfit?"
"Are you and your boyfriend going to take your son away from his mother‽"
"All set to go. The Grammy's won't know what hit them when we step on the red carpet."
"Phil, give your little boyfriend a kiss for us!" one of them hissed.

I narrowed my eyes at them, grabbed onto Dan's face, and forced him into a kiss. I heard all the cameras click at us and all I could do was smirk. I forced my tongue into his mouth, just to give the media a little extra something to play with.

When I was done I pushed Dan away and continued smoking my dwindling cigarette. I handed Dan a fresh one from my pack as a thank you for playing along. We walked down the rest of street before we finally made it to the designers office, ignoring everyone else the rest of the way.

***

"What the fuck did you do?" Cynthia scolded.
"What'd I do?" I mumbled.
"Oh, shithead, I don't know. Care to explain to me why you're all over every single fucking trending page?"
"Oh, yeah, I kissed Dan."
"Why‽"
"Because reporters were hounding us and I was bored," I shrugged.
"But you're with me, jackass!"
"That's never stopped me before, has it?"
"You promised me that you'd stop seeing him," she ground her teeth together.
"Yeah, and we both promised that we'd be sober for the rest of our lives," I lit a cigarette, "how'd that work out?"
"I can't fucking believe you," she scoffed.
"Why are you gagging, darling?" I blew smoke in her face. "I bring it to you every ball."

I let out a low chuckle before heading into my studio to rehearse for the Grammy's. This was our first year being nominated and we were up for best album and group. With all this extra publicity, I'm sure we'd be able to easily snag both wins without a hitch.

A few hours later, Cynthia came by and slammed on the studio door—I rolled my eyes and let her in. My eyes widened as my jaw fell to the floor. She was all done up in her dress for the ceremony and I was absolutely floored.

"Wow, Cyn... I-I... wow..." I whispered.
"Do I still got it?" she chuckled.
"Oh yeah..."
"Hotter than your little twink?"
"Miles ahead of him..." I placed a teasing kiss on her lips. "Go into the lounge, I wanna get a picture of you."

She strutted towards a little space in the corner of the room and struck a pose. I felt like I took hundreds of pictures of her, but hey, I'm not complaining. I could never wait to show her off to the world.

Phil_Lester: i sure did pick a winner 😍 love you to the moon and back, Cindy Baby

***

"Phil! Help zip me up!" Cynthia called.
"What's wrong?" I asked. "This fit perfectly a month ago."
"I know that, dipshit," she huffed. "Dan, try holding me closed while Phil tries to zip." We followed her orders, but the zipper wasn't moving. "What am I supposed to do?"
"I-I don't know," Dan panicked. "Is there any reason it wouldn't fit? Like did you change your diet?"
"No."
"Are you on your period?"
"No."
"Could you be pregnant?" I glared at her as she seemingly started to sweat bullets.
"No," she shook her head, "I-I'm on birth control."
"Then I don't know what the issue is."
"I'll just stay here," she whined as she fell onto the bed.
"If you stay, I stay," I said.
"No, don't be ridiculous. You need to accept your awards."
"There'd be no point if you weren't there watching me."
"I'll be here," she smiled. "I'll call up your mother and have her put Blue on the phone for when your category comes on."
"If you insist," I sighed. "I love you."
"Love you too." She quickly kissed me before shooing me away. "Now get going. You have some awards to win."

***

"Phil, I feel like I'm dying," Cynthia sobbed.

She had been hovered over the toilet for hours on end. The night before she hadn't drunken anything more than normal, and the most outrageous thing she did was weed.

We had been home for a month and a half and she had shown no prior signs of being ill—it literally just hit her like a bus. Blue was bringing her little packets of saltines, water, and Gatorade so she could keep her fluids up.

"Thank you, baby boy," she coughed. "Can you go get daddy for me?"
"Mhmm," he nodded before running off. "Daddy! Mummy wants you!"
"Coming," I grumbled. "What's up?"
"Phil..."
"Yeah? What?"
"I think I'm pregnant..."