Freedom

On the Road Again

"Ruby, why don't you give driving this thing a try. We're heading down a pretty straight shot road." Liam looked over to me and started to find a place to pull over.

"I really suck at driving, I know this, you know this, we all know this." I laughed at his suggestion, which seemed outrageous to me. I was seventeen now and still didn't really know how to drive.

"It'll be fine." He insisted on me driving and pulled over in the road's shoulder. We switched seats and I got myself situated. "You still remember the basics right?" Liam put settled into his seat and I stepped on the gas.

"We'll see." I could drive in a life or death situation, but I definitely wasn't a top notch nascar racer.

"You're doin fine. I don't know why you get so nervous about this. Go a little faster, my grandma drives faster." He egged me on and pointed at the dash. I was goin a solid 40mph but I felt like I was skirtin at one hundred. I drove badly for about an hour before Liam and I switched back. He does get us places quickly but I don't know about calling his recklessness, skilled driving. But we haven't crashed yet, so that's something. 

Hours of driving, and endless mindless conversations just for the sake of talking, it was finally Chubs and Zu's turn to take over driving. We didn't trust Chubs too much, although his vision has gotten better and in turn his ability to drive. Chubs came to the front of the van, "Time to switch, don't want your tired asses crashing this thing." 

"Maybe not your blind ass either." I teased. We pulled over and Chubs got us back on the road again. Liam and I plopped ourselves down on the cushions, towels, and blankets scattered around the back of the van. Chubs and Zu blared the radio in the front and the continuous bumps in driving kept me awake.

Liam pushed some cushions up to the wall and leaned back, "Its hot in here" he complained. I looked over at his relaxed state, hands behind his head laying back on the side of the van. I swear every day of my life was becoming more cringey, like those teen romance novels. I can't say I wasn't a fan. Strange? Yes. But kinda fun. Liam took off his jacket, his maroon shirt was getting tattered from months of laborious tasks here and there. I took off my hoodie too, I think my personal goal for this van is to fix the air conditioning. The summer time in Virginia gets unbearably humid, the time of the year was approaching where the cool nighttime breeze gets traded out for still humid air.

"Woah Liam keep it pg." I looked over to him taking off his shirt, my face red from shock and the awkwardness of the situation.

"Oh calm down, nothing you haven't seen before." He threw the shirt at me.

"I usually get a warning to avert my eyes." I laughed and put the shirt with the pile of clothes we were accumulating. I'd noticed he'd toned up after working on patrol duty at East River. Long hours of cardio and carrying heavy weapons did his physique well. I found a pair of shorts I had taken from the hotel amongst the scattered goods. Sleeping in jeans isn't the most comfortable thing in the world, so this was a god send. "Here's how to do it. Liam avert your gaze away from this side of the van." My posh language made him chuckle,

"As you wish oh high and mighty." He turned his head and I slid off my jeans and switched them to the soft pajama shorts.

"You may return your gaze." I turned around playing into my posh example of how to be polite.

"Now I can stare at you again." He smiled from the opposite wall of the van. I knew he was joking, but his words sounded to have some truth to them. I laid down in the back for a while, we had the whole night off since we had driven all morning. I picked up the book kept in my backpack for nights just like these. It was an old, well loved, paper back version of The Great Gatsby. Tales of extravagant stories were decorated with florals and decorations on the corners of the pages. Liam switched his positioning to sit next to me.

"Watcha reading?" He looked over my shoulder to the book that took me to a time of elegance and secrecy. "Ah, Great Gatsby. You a classics kinda person?" He scanned the page, trying to put together what part of the novel I was on.

"I'm a good books kind of person." I smirked at him, it was true. I'm picky when it comes to books, I don't want any stupid cliche's or redundant story lines. I continued to become engulfed in the era of the 1920's. I felt Liams head move onto my shoulder, "Aye squatter, not your land." I smirked and pointed to my shoulder he decided to inhabit. No response, he was out for the night. Fair enough, I was exhausted too. I put my book down and started to try to make him lay down. A piece of his scraggly blonde hair had fallen down covering his forehead and eyes. I slid my fingers through his hair, his face flinched at my touch. In his sleep, his hero complex and consistent face of toughness and bravery was gone. I moved my hands through his hair, my instinct to care for him led me to lay his head on my lap. His long eyelashes caught my attention, It baffled me how long male eyelashes were. The irony was definitely present, many females spend their whole life trying to get long thick lashes. His face flinched in his sleep and his eyes crinkled. I rested my palms on his face, trying to assure him that whatever dream he was having wasn't real. I felt his eyes relax, a light flashed through my eyes. I was in his head; I wasn't supposed to be here. He didn't let me in here, but if I panicked I could do serious danger to his psyche. I walked forwards into a light in front of me and I was pushed into what I thought was his dreams. A bright raging fire in a forest, Chubs and Zu gripping and pulling Liam back away from something. I walked towards them, Liam was wailing in agony. I walked towards the sight that was distressing him. I walked through the flames until I saw it. My dead body lying in the flames, slowly becoming engulfed by the raging fire. How does someone react when they see themselves dead, Im sure that was some great philosophical and literature debacle. I froze, my concentration dissipated and I slipped from his mind back to reality. I reacquainted myself with reality as Liam jolted awake. "Hey, hey, it's just a dream." His heart was racing, the start of a cold sweat formed in his palms. "Everyone is okay. You're okay, I'm okay, Zu is okay, Chubs is ok; everything is okay. He looked uncomfortably perched up from my lap. I slid my arms around him and pulled him close to me. He never had things like this, he was always the put together one. The one there for us when we were falling apart. It was evident he was freaking out. I pulled his head to my shoulder/neck and just sat there. I put my hand on his upper back and felt his heart beat. I moved my hand in a circle on his back and felt a tear move down the back of my shoulder. I had never seen him cry before, we all probably had some sort of PTSD from our experiences. Maybe this was his form manifesting, thank god this didn't happen when he was alone. I shushed him and kept trying to comfort him. He had grasped on to me and I didn't think he would let go any time soon. "C'mon lets lay down, we're just gonna calm down. You're going to be okay." I started laying down and he followed. His hands moved to behind me and I pulled him into upper chest. That night we stayed intertwined. Liam trying to calm down and realize his dream was just PTSD induced, and me holding him still shaken up myself from what I saw in his head.