Freedom

Early Morning Truths

I woke up in the middle of the night after, bump after bump in the road. I whispered to see if Liam was still awake, "Liam, you still up." He picked up his head, and looked at me,

"Yeah, whatcha need?" He started to sit up a little bit.

"No, Im good. I'm checking on you for once. Did you get any sleep?" I examined the bags under his eyes and the slightly red tint to his eyes.

"Im fine, I've just been up. It's alright." He was uncomfortable not being in control of everything. Not being able to take care of someone else instead of himself.

"You need to get some sleep, one it'll combat possible insomnia you could develop from this episode, but also you need to relax and sleep this off." I was assuming it was some sort of PTSD induced episode, based on what I saw in his head.

"I don't like this whole you taking care of me thing." He looked down and smiled.

"Give you a taste of your own medicine" I teased him, he laughed. He laid back down and exhaled loudly. He extended his arm to grab a blanket, he spread it out over us and slid his hands to my waist and upper back. I felt him pull me close to him, closer than any person ever had. I hovered my head over him, not knowing what to do. A kind hand brushed brown strands of hair into place and urged my head down to his chest. I wasn't sure what to think of the past few nights, his embrace was comforting but I could still slip into his head if I wasn't careful. Even with the improvement of controlling my abilities it was always a concern int the back of my head. We stayed intertwined as we drifted off to sleep. The early morning light peeked through the side of the makeshift curtains. I lifted my head to view a sleeping Liam, I untangled our arms and legs and stretched up. I pulled back the curtain that separated us from Chubs and Zu. Zu was passed out, her head leaning against the side of the car.

"Morning Chubs." I blinked in the sunlight beaming through the front windshield.

"Mornin, ya'll were out forever. How tired can sitting and driving be?""

"Liam's still out, he had a rough night." Chubs raised an eyebrow at me.

"I'm gonna move Zu to the back, she doesn't look like a great navigator." I smiled, unbuckled her seatbelt, and moved her to the back of the van to lay down. I came back up to the front and sat down in the now empty passenger seat.

"Do I want to know why he had a rought night?" Chubs looked disgusted.

"Oh lord you creep, why would I ever want to hit that?" I jokingly looked disgusted back. "Last night I think he had like, a serious anxiety attack." 

"Probably, he would never tell anyone how horrible he was feeling. I knew it would bubble up eventually." Chub's lax response made me more concerned.

I decided to let Chubs in on what happened last night, "I kinda made mistake last night." Chubs raised an eyebrow at me. "I put my hands on Liam's head last night when I was trying to wake him up, and I slipped into his head. I don't know what happened, that hasn't happened in months. I haven't told him I saw his dream, and I tried not to see anything else. I don't know what to do, do I tell him?" I was freaking out, and Chubs expression didn't help. Shocked wasn't a strong enough word to describe the look on his face.

Chubs shocked facial changed to a look of assurance as he spoke, "I mean, you have to tell him. You went inside his head. That's the epitome of personal privacy." 

"How do I even go about that conversation?" I was lost and searching for an answer to a problem that I don't think any human ever had to deal with. 

"Just talk to him, I'm going to let you in on something I shouldn't be telling you. He's really attached to you, from the first day you came along with us he had taken a liking to you. Now he'd do anything for any one of us, but if you needed something or you were in trouble I can't imagine how stupid he would get. Not to sound cheesy but I'm worried he'd die for you. Seriously someone's gotta teach that boy some common sense. He's not going to be upset you for this, it wasn't even your fault or intention." 

"Be upset you for what, what happened?" A familiar concerned morning voice approached me. Chubs and Liam switched so we would be back on driving duty. I heard the curtains close behind us and we were alone to have this conversation.

"What was that all about" I still felt the tension between us, my conversation with Chubs had created.

"Um, well you remember last night when everything was kind of chaotic." He gestured to signify his remembrance. "Well I kinda saw what you were dreaming about." He furrowed his brow and looked confused. "I went in your head." I'll never get over how weird and wrong that sentence sounded. But that's what happened, no matter how much I didn't want it to.

"Oh, um. Did you see anything?" He seemed calm but there was a hint of concern to his voice. 

"No not really, I tried to not learn anything."

"Okay, well I'm assuming you didn't intentionally try to invade every aspect of my personal life" His classic joking demeanor showed through once again; I knew that everything was going to be fine. I decided this was a good time to bring up my second troubling point.

"Liam, I think you have PTSD." This statement troubled him more than any of the others. 

"Why would you think that?" He still tried to play the conversation off as it was nothing.

"Last night wouldn't have happened if everything was fine and dandy. Anyways I just wanted to make sure everything was alright after last night, let you know what I think, and most importantly let you know that I'm here for you, Chubs is here for you, just don't be afraid to show it if you're not doing okay."

"I'm fine." His short response accompanied by a forced smile let me know his true response. He would never let anyone know what was truly going on inside that mind of his. I knew that, but I had to make an effort to make him open up. 

~~~Authors Note~~~

Heyyyo I have no idea if anyone actually reads this but if ya do and you were wondering where the hell I've been, well high school is a bitch lol. I'm back though, I'm going to try to get back on a normal writing schedule. Enjoy dem words k bye    : p