Love and Chase

Kabanata 13

Morning came and it's saturday. Tinanghali ako ng gising kasi ang tagal kong nakatulog kagabi. I was clouded with all the negative thoughts at dahil yun kay Chase.

"Kumain kana, anak."

My mom is busy arranging the boquet of flowers, siguro binilhan na naman siya ni daddy. Daddy is so sweet I lost count kung ilan na ang binili niyang flowers kay mommy. That made me smile, I'm happy, so happy for them.

Siningang ribs ng baboy, the viand, oh ghad! Not bad for brunch. Hehehe.

Eating all my might, di ko na napansin na pumasok na pala si mommy sa kusina. She started asking questions about last night, last dawn rather.

"Saan kayo galing kagabi anak? Late ka umuwi ha. Ayoko ng ganun."

"Don't worry mom, not gonna happen again." I smiled at her.

Spoiled ako sa kanila ni dad pero di ko naman inaabuso. And I don't find any bad sides naman, they want me safe, I don't want to stress them worrying for me.

March is fast approaching and busy na kami sa graduation practice, it's boring and all pero I'd rather be here than listen to any lesson, can you feel me? Yeah feel me. Haha

It saddens me na in a few more days, maghihiwalay na kami ng mga classmates ko, I will miss them. Nissa, Reena and even Chase. Kahit masungit parin siya sakin at baliwala lang ako sa kanya tanggap ko naman iyon. Crush ko padin siya kahit sagad ang kasungitan niya. Ika nga, the heart wants what it wants. Psssh.

Pero nasaktan talaga ako sa di niya pagsipot sa ball and hindi pa siya nag explain. Ang bitter ko lang, pero I think I deserve naman an explanation diba? Explanation na kahit obvious na sa akin na dahil sa girlfriend niya, he chose her over me, kasi, sino ba naman ako?

This is an unrequited crush.

Hindi na kami masyado nag-usap after that incident. Okay lang sa akin sanay naman akong nagsusungit siya at di namamansin, so wala masyadong pagbabago.

Di ko na din siya ginugulo, I was hurt and I'm not martyr to still be friends with him after what he did to me. Sounds bitter pero sinanay ko na rin ang sarili ko, after all, malapit na ang graduation. We will part ways, so it's for the better.

For me to feel better.

***

Congratulations!

I'm no longer a highschooler starting this day. Umiiyak kami nga mga classmates ko, hugging each other, telling each other not to cut our connections in the future,  saying friends forever.

Funny how things feel now, dati I was not really that close to my classmates, pero iba talaga pag Graduation na, nakakaiyak.

I hugged Nissa, she hugged me back.

"Friends forever." Sabay naming sabi at nagtawanan.

Isa nalang ang di ko pa nababati, si Chase. Where is that stubborn grumpy hottie? I looked for him and found him near the gymnasium's entrance talking to his family, and I think I saw Luna too. A bit disappointed pero it doesn't matter. Gusto ko si Chase but I know na hanggang doon lang yun, I don't have the right to demand, hindi naman niya ako gusto at wala akong karapatan.

Bigla nalang siyang lumingon sa gawi ko, I mouthed congratulations and smile, he just nodded and they left. Just like that.

I expected that, sungit talaga nun.

Umuwi na kami sa bahay para mag-celebrate.

My relatives are here, may inihanda kasi si mommy and daddy.

It was a happy day.

Minus the idea na nalulungkot parin ako, hindi na talaga napansin ang crush ko kai Chase. Hindi ko man lang nasabi.

I-text ko kaya siya?

Ay wag nalang baka magkasama sila ng girlfriend niya.

Pero kating-kati talaga akong i-text siya.

I wanna let it go.

Itong nararamdaman ko gusto kong sabihin, total hindi naman din siguro kami magkikita. Maybe hindi naman din siya mag-aaral dito sa Cdo.

They're rich so I bet dun sa Manila mag-aaral yun. Ganun naman pag mayayaman diba?

Yung nakatira sa Bukidnon, sa Cdo nag-aaral, yung taga Cdo sa Cebu nag-aaral, yung taga Cebu sa Manila nag-aaral, yung taga Manila sa US nag-aaral. How ironic.

Hindi rin naman siguro papansinin ni Chase kung sasabihin ko. Gusto ko lng talaga masabi, I wanna let him know. Because maybe, just maybe, baka may gusto rin naman siya sa akin kahit slight lang.

Gosh.

Ako: Chase, I like u so damn much. Goodluck. I will miss u, sungit.

There, I sent it. I am not expecting a reply, kasi takot ako sa magiging reaction niya.

I turned off my phone.

I suddenly feel coward after.

Ah bahala na.