If Only... (DamiJon Fic)

It's Not Your Fault

[AUTHORS NOTE]
Actually the Two Birds Conversation chapter and this chapter, was suppose to be one whole chapter... but I guess it was too long so I had to spilt them, making two chapters..
Enjoy! 😂💖💖

San Francisco's Golden Gate Bridge
2:36a.m.

[DAMIAN'S POV]

The smile on her face slips a fraction of an inch.. She gazed down to the view and slightly deeply...

Raven: Believe me, I would... if I can... But Slade used a katana that was drenched in full demonic magic.. I'm only half of one. I could only do so much... Back at the hospital, when you, Lois, Superman, Kori, and left, I used my powers to telepath into Jon's room. I saw him. I tried using my healing ability on him, but nothing works.. The only thing that I did heal on him, was the pain around his stomach where the kryptonite crystal was pierced... My powers couldn't heal him completely or even wake him up.... I guess he'll just recover likr normal people...

I swallow hard, trying to stop the emotions that come bubbling up, tears clouding my eyes... I kept my eyes to the view and sighed deeply... I asked her with my voice so low..

Me: Do you think, Jon will wake up?

I looked at her, with tears slowly welling up in my eyes. She faced me with a hopeful smile..

Raven: He will. If I know Jon, and I do, he is a fighter, he always have been. He's breathing normal, the doctors has already performed surgery on him, and he's already gotten some blood from Superman. Everything's set, when he's ready, he'll wake up. He just needs time.

Me: Okay... (swallowed a sob)

I wiped my tears away with the back of hand and sipped my Frappuccino. I turned back to look at the view with my hands clutched together. I felt like my heart is going to burst, I'm feeling so many things at once.. There's anger, sadness, fear, surprise, confusions, and many more....

Raven: How about you Damian... How are you holding up?

I didn't look at her. I dug my fingernails into my palms and shrugged. I couldn't find the words to describe how I was feeling.

Raven: Look Damian, you can't blame yourself for what has happened to Jon.. It's not--

I cut her off and I snapped...

Me: My fault?! That's everyone's professional opinion. Not everything is somebody's fault. Don't give me that okay! I'm really sick, of hearing that! Because it is, my fault!!

My eyes brimmed with angry tears..

Raven: Ok then, tell me. Why, is your fault?...

I angrily wiped away my tears with the back of my hand and faced her.

Me: Because I, encouraged him to join in.... He has seen in his nightmare on what's about to happen and yet I still encouraged him.... I!! If it weren't for me, he would be alive right now, sleeping comfortably in his own room, back in his house.... If it weren't for me being so weak while battling Slade, Jon wouldn't have to take a bullet.... Can't you see?! I encouraged him! Me! So it is, my fault Raven! MINE!

I tried swallowing back the sobs but they've overpowered me. I kept on sobbing with angry tears rolling down my face... I held my head with both my hands, exhaling slowly. I felt Raven's hands around my shoulder.

Raven: Yes, you did encouraged him... But, you didn't force him. Jon could have easily back down your offer to join, but he didn't. He wanted, to join. It was his, decision... not yours. Jon knew what was coming and yet he chose to fight with us... He knew what he was getting into so it wasn't your, fault... You encouraged him, not forced him... Do you get it now?

I lifted my head, wiped my tears away, and sipped some Frappuccino. I took in her words. Huh... I've never thought of it that way. What she said was actually true... I've never forced him to join, in fact, I gave him a choice.. And he chose to join. So, in a way, she's right, it wasn't entirely, my fault... (sigh) The feeling of ashamed and embarrassment filled me as I think of how I yelled at Dick and just now Raven, when they said it wasn't my fault... I met her dark purple eyes, giving her a gently smile.

Me: I'm, sorry, Raven... You were right... I, I guess I haven't thought of it that way. Thanks..

Raven: Don't worry about it, it's understandable. You can't see the sun when there are lots of large clouds blocking it.

I guess now I owe Grayson an apology... (sigh) that's going to be difficult.... I pulled my legs together and wrapped my arms around them, resting my chin on my knees.. I continued talking to her.

Me: So, is this conversations the reason you came here?

Raven: Yeah. I came here to heal your wounds, have a conversation and,, to give you this... (holding out a phone)

Raven held out from what it seems to be a phone in her hand.. I glanced to it and look away.

Me: Why a phone? I've already own one...

Raven: I'm not giving you a new phone.. This is Jon's phone.