𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐀𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐆

;past

Emma Chamberlain

My last lesson is history and as soon as my teacher slams the book of The Plague shut, I'm ready to get out of this hell hole.

Olivia stares at me across the class room rolling her eyes at the irrelevance of everything the teacher is noting us on that was preventing us from exiting the class room.

When class is dismissed Olivia bounds over towards me moaning and groaning about the added homework he had given us.

"Hey" Ethan smiles leaning himself backwards on the wall making Olivia stop in her tracks and run her hand through her hair in an attempt to impress him.

It makes me want to giggle but I don't.

"Hey you" I smile back stopping directly in front of him making Olivia's jaw hang open even further.

Ethan is now fully aware of my gaping best friend and instead of mentioning it moves straight on to looking back at me with those deep brown eyes.

"Are we waiting for your other friend before we go?" Ethan decides to ask Olivia, who instead of talking gives him a small nod.

When Amanda nears the corner she does the same WHAT THE HELL expression but some how manages to play it cool... astonishing me.

I begin to walk; with the girls leading off in front

"Are they always gonna be like that or?" Ethan chuckles.

I notice he isn't wearing a bag and it makes me wonder if he seriously doesn't care about school at all.

"I'm going to say yes and then anything else can only be an improvement" I reply and it makes him do a deep laugh I can only describe as heavenly.

The walk is pleasant and every so often I watch as Olivia and Amanda turn around to watch our movement.

I didn't have work tonight because Dorothy was closing the shop for the day for personal reasons so I was able to walk straight to my house but as I near it Ethan turns to me,

"Is it okay if I actually come in? I don't want to be like a lost puppy and follow you around everywhere" he watches my face intently as I giggle and twitch my nose as a joke.

"No you have to sit on the front steps- OF COURSE YOU CAN COME IN SILLY" He looks panicked at first and then calms back down and laughs along with me.

He then asks about where my parents are and goes into more detail about that which is fun to talk about because I rarely got the chance to.

I whip up a photo of my mum with a dolphin which he enjoys zooming in on and noticing how similar I am to my parents.

And then I reach the door of my house, its a weird feeling not sneaking him in but at the same time it feels almost freeing.

I head towards the kitchen as my best friends watch me, Amanda gets her usual bowl of cereal after school as a substitute for dinner which she barely ever ate at school because it was slop.

I offer Ethan an apple which he accepts, I throw him a green one and take one for myself before heading upstairs to my bedroom.

"This room is massive" Ethan realises as he flops himself backwards onto my bed taking a loud bite from his apple. I childishly bounce onto the bed with my knees making Ethan choke on his apple.

He jumps forward grabbing my waist and presses me down on the bed like he was going to fight me for making him choke.

Instead he falls back in laughter and we both look up towards my ceiling which I feel content doing and still being silent.

"Did you know Ive never had a girlfriend?" Ethan asks in a daze still laying down.

It shocks me because I was sure someone as good looking and mesmerising would have found someone even if they weren't the one.

"No way" I gasp rolling over to lay on my stomach and stare at him with my face in my own hands.

"Um was that sarcastic" he snaps playfully reaching out to tickle me and I shake my head defensively before he starts to send me into fits of laughter.

Why had he brought that up?

What was on his mind currently?

"Okay but why?" I ask intrigued for some reason.

"Why haven't I had a girlfriend? Well I truthfully never thought I was good enough. Not looks wise or in any other way either"

My jaw hangs open because I'm shocked that someone that beautiful would think so little of them self.

"And then when Allison and Eden... died" he gulps down "all four of us boys turned into monsters basically. Me and Addison started boxing to get rid of anger but it didn't do much as you can imagine."

I wondered about his mother but didn't ask yet, I just sat and listened as he spoke,

"I started being more violent getting in with the wrong crowd and soon enough I was running from the cops every night so I didn't really have time for a girl" he explains sitting upwards to look me in the eyes.

I wonder if he's ever told anyone this and if not, why me?

"What about Grayson?" I ask and Ethan nods along scratching the back of his neck anxiously.

"Well he moved with us because mom knew he couldn't cope on her own back there and I think she thought she needed us. Turns out my dad wanted little to do with her and now she's probably sending herself insane in an empty house which is a shame because she was one of the nicest people I've ever met."

Ethan looks like he's about to cry but he doesn't, he breaks out into a sad smile.

"She was genuine. Like Grayson. Talking of Grayson, he wanted to stay with me and I like him its just that when I got into the group I'm in now he didn't really fit in but he really tried and now he's the boy you see today"

That makes me feel so sad for him and I think back to being on the park with him and the extreme intoxication and his cigarettes that he obviously enjoyed puffing on now but I knew would never have skimmed his lips if he hadn't loved Ethan so much.

I felt sorry for Grayson because he'd become someone he wasn't to fit in, but I also felt sorry for Ethan because as he spoke I knew how badly he hated himself because of it.