Insanity

Chapter 20

Song: Paint It Black cover by Hidden Citizens

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"I look inside myself and see
my heart is painted black."

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Soldier's eyelids snapped open and he immediately noticed his back and face were drenched with a cold sweat, which was unfortunate since he'd just showered. He ran his hands down his face, wicking away beads of sweat along with them.

"'I'm with you till the end of the line, pal."

What just happened? He remembered no part of his dream other than those words. The phrase rang through his head over and over again like a song on repeat until it was so stuck in his head he doubted it would ever go away. But it wasn't like any old jazz song he'd heard on the radio, it was like that popular new screaming stuff that Rumlow listened to all the time in the car. It was loud, it was harsh, but it was memorable. It felt familiar yet foreign, sweet but salty.

He sat up on his mattress, taking a deep breath. Why was he overthinking this? It was just a silly dream, it didn't even mean anything. It was just his brain hallucinating in order to keep him from getting bored while he slept - that was all. Soldier groaned, a low, throaty noise and ran his hands through his hair, combing it to the best of his ability with his fingers.

For some time, he wondered what hour it was. It was definitely lighter out, but the sun had yet to make an appearance in his tiny bathroom window though it did seem to be rising. Figuring it was early enough he stood from his mattress and trudged into his bathroom. The dandelion lived on in the teacup as he splashed cold water on his face, trying to wake himself up somewhat.

Soldier made his way over to the lightswitch, flipping on the bright bulb illuminating his makeshift room. His stomach grumbled and he decided it was high time to dive into his box of rations but as he went to do so, he hesitated. He had two choices: a box of tiny, crunchy tan circles, or beef jerky. One of those was meant to be breakfast and one lunch, though he didn't know which was which. He held both in his hands, looking at them back and forth. After opting for a taste test to decide the winner, he chose the jerky on the basis that the nutrition facts said that it had more protein in it than the so-called Cheerios. So, he ate a bit of the jerky, drank a full cup of water from his fancy dispenser, and was ready to begin his day, though there wasn't much to begin.

He decided to give himself a workout. He started with some light stretching, deciding to do that until the sun came up. Periodically he would stop his stretches, check the bathroom window for the sun, and then resume his stretches. He did this until he could see the sun in his window, which felt like maybe thirty minutes.

Afterwards, he wanted to do some push-ups. He always did one arm ones, seeing as his left arm couldn't build any muscle at all so it was pointless to cheat push-ups with it. He lost count somewhere around one hundred eleven, but he felt like he made it to two hundred before calling quits. Once his arm was feeling a good burn he switched to sit-ups, also doing somewhere around two hundred, though he lost count again. He jogged in place, did more push-ups, did lunges around his room, then did more push-ups, held a fifteen minute plank, and finished with some push-ups. He couldn't believe it at first, but he was actually beginning to grow bored of working out.

Soldier sighed, desperately wishing to know the time. Then, it hit him - hadn't Rumlow given him a watch yesterday? He wracked his brain trying to remember where he may have put it, eventually resorting to tearing apart what little he had in his room to find it. It wasn't anywhere in the bathroom, and he didn't find it until he looked in the very last place possible - his box of clean clothes. There, sitting on top of all of his clothes, was the little black watch; he figured he must not have noticed it the previous night since he didn't have the light on.