ROADSIDE FLOWERS ( t. kageyama )

xii. birthday candles

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roadside flowers.
chapter 12: birthday candles

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my eyelids peel open to my usual blue ceiling and colorful confetti burst at my face.

"what's this?" i ask, muffling a yawn with the back of my hand. my eyes are bleary and i rub at them to have a clearer vision of my surroundings.

"happy birthday to you," mai sings off tune, her head bobbing up and down, the ribbons adorning her hair mirroring her movements. mei claps with her and kyoichiro jumps up and down. they all sings in chorus with the occassional offtune squeaks. "happy birthday to you..."

"happy birthday!" they say altogether and in a rare display of vigor, i pull them all into the bed into one big embrace.

"thank you very much," i tell the three of them.

"no problem, sis," mai says and i have to admit it's equally shocking and heartwarming to hear her call me sister instead of my name. "mei and i cooked up your favorite breakfast, so you'll start the day right."

"and i made this for you," kyoichiro says and hands me folded special paper from his pocket. it's pastel blue decorated with clouds and birds. "happy birthday!"

"thank you..."

they all jump off of bed in synch. "brush your teeth," mai reminds me before she pushes both kyoichiro and mei outside my room. i unfold the paper and was met with drawings made from colored chalks. stick figures of our family from father to mother and all eight children with their names. i have a party hat placed on my stick figure with happy birthday. without my permission, tears begin to fall at the drawing and i place it away from my lap into my shelves, next to the camera and the polaroids i took with eniko in our little downtown trips.

when i head downstairs after finishing my morning ritual, mai pats the seat next to her with a smile. mother is seated on the table along with aichiro who has started eating ahead of the family.

"happy birthday, teruko," mother tells me, her voice perfunctory as mai begins lighting the cake in the middle of the table with matches.

"thank you, mother," i reply.

"let's sing another song!" mai cheers.

"you should hurry along, you have classes today," mother tells her and she sulks back into her seat. i place my hand on top of hers and the pout in her face lessens.

we ate the rest of the breakfast in silence and i relish every single piece. before i finish my last bite, i hear mai humming happy birthday. she picks up the cake from the center of the table and sings the song. mei joins her along with kyoichiro. i do not look at my mother because i know it will only spoil the moment.

the flames of the candle dance sensually as the chorus of the song rings into my head. cream white frosting decorate it with hints of pink and blue flowers. it reads happy birthday in blue frosting and below is eniko's name.

"come on, you sing it too aichi!" kyoichiro tells our brother who's minding his own business, engrossed in the french toast in front of him.

"yeah, yeah!" mai adds. "you didn't join us in surprising teru!"

aichiro tsks and resumes eating. mai pouts at him.

"i-it's okay, mai, kyo."

they move on immediately.

"blow the candles, sis!"

i smile at the three of them and was about to blow the flames off when aichiro's fingers grab the sleeve of my shirt.