ROADSIDE FLOWERS ( t. kageyama )

xx. bursting fireworks

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roadside flowers.
chapter 20: bursting fireworks
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love is blooming on my face, petals of bright smiles and stalks of happiness, vibrant crimson on my cheeks and anyone who can see me right now would probably arrive at the correct conclusion. i do not bother hiding it. it's just the two of us afterall. walking in the shadowy road towards my house side by side in harmony.

i think the colors on my face will never disappear even when tobio-kun bades me goodbye and drops the box near the threshold of our house. at least i think of that, until eniko's face comes in full view.

just one eyebrow, one meager action from my sister and the colors drain off of my face.

i hide my face behind the tall box of eniko's things, but i can still feel the pressing stare of my older sibling. memories of eniko warning me of the dangers of love and the consequences that come after it fill me and my fingers tremble so much that i feel the box in my clutches would tumble into uncertain doom.

"get inside teru," eniko says and even though there is no trace of coldness in her words, shivers still run through the skin of my spine. "you'll catch a cold."

i end up relinquishing the box to mei who's drinking a glass of milk by the counter, adhering to eniko's orders (after a tirade of complaints of course) and my sister tells me to sit in the kitchen. i am uncomfortable in my current state, the fabric of my uniform blouse clings to my skin and i feel as if the skirt is becoming too short so i keep on tugging at the hem to pull it down.

"so it's the kageyama from next door, huh?" she asks, her tone conversational as she carries a cup of coffee to the saucer she placed on the seat across mine. i don't move. i don't make a sound. i don't dare look up into her eyes and give an answer simply because i can't face the inevitable disapproval that's bound to surface on her face.

"you look really happy," she comments, stirring her coffee cup even though she did not add any sugar or cream.

"are you two dating?" she doesn't even hesitate. that's always been eniko. perfunct, straight to the point. she's always merited results through resolving conflicts in her confrontational (albeit controversial) way.

i quickly shake my head, my eyes still pinned on the surface of the wooden table. if i look close enough, i can see minor scratches on what seems to be a pristine surface.

"then you best be moving," eniko says and i may have misheard her, but it sounds like she's supporting me, so i look up to meet her gaze which is not at all menacing than what i expected.

"huh?"

she takes a sip of her coffee before answering. "move, do something about it," eniko says. "i'm not the expert on these things and to be quite frank, i fear that your feelings are in one way or another going to poison your academics, but i know for a fact that stopping you is counterproductive."

her features soften. "i've seen the way you walk now... it's a minuscule change, but you're slowly starting to hold your head up high. i know that we've drifted apart and i accept that. and it makes me glad to know that somehow, someday, you will be able to stand on your own. and if those feelings you hold are a part of that growth, forcing you to relinquish your grasp on them would be detrimental."

"so you approve...?" i squeak, weighing her reactions. i end up with a blank and hold the sigh threatening to escape my lips.

"i'm not mom, teruko," she tells me. "i don't operate like that."

"besides, it's already too late now, isn't it?" there's a gleam in her eye, almost conspiratorial and i can see a tiny fragment of what we used to be like. sisters void of internal complexes.