ROADSIDE FLOWERS ( t. kageyama )

xxi. straw wrappers

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roadside flowers.
chapter 21: straw wrappers

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coffee occupied the space inside the porcelain coffee cup and steam wafts up even as eniko attempts to blow the steam away. i watches on the sides with a curious gaze, wondering how many shots of epresse it had taken to reach such an almost  disconcerting level of darkness.

"would you like some milk?" i ask her.

"milk wouldn't be enough," mai interjects and casts a look of distaste unto eniko's coffee cup. "she'd need a bucket of sugar for that."

i choose to ignore her, directing my attention toward my older sister. "i thought you were cutting back on the coffee."

"i needed the extra shot of espresso," eniko groans before putting her pen down on the table and taking a sip of the coffee. once she finishes a sip, she resumes to writing on her notebook, copying formulas from the small textbook spread open next to her notebook.

the eyebags surfacing underneath her eyes have gotten more prominent and eniko who is always pristine and perfect looks as if she has been hit by a storm. i have always known her to be collected, always in control, so seeing her like this is disheartening. i was not aware that the chores in our house, the day to day commutes, her papers and projects have weighed in on her like this.

"what is it, teru?" eniko asks, her eyes still pinned on her notes.

"n-nothing," i reply, taking a sip of my milkshake. "just focus on whatever you're doing." my fingers start pressing the small dews of water forming in the surface of the glass, tracing half formed shapes and letters. "and if there's anything i can do to help, j-just say it."

she looks up and smiles at me. "thank you," her voice is soft, weaker than her usual and it makes my chest ache. i struggle to keep the pity away from my face. my sister is strong and it is a dishonor to even pity her, but i love her so much that it is proving to be difficult. "but i'm alright. just enjoy yourselves. once i'm done with this, we'll go to that aquarium mai likes."

"yay!" mai cheers, raising her hands high in the air and almost jumping off of her seat, but she sits properly again when eniko tells her to behave.

the rest of the morning is blurred in pastel decorations and coffee cups, the scent of espresso and pressed lavenders wafting in the air. eniko's notes are done and they're visible in carefully highlighted words and easy to understand diagrams.

we go to the aquarium next and mai marvels at the fishes, but for all the wrong reasons. she keeps mumbling about condiments and different types of sushi. i don't know if the fish understand it, but they might have sensed a little fear for my younger sister so whenever she goes near a fish or two, they swim away in speeds unfathomable.

"are they scared of me?" she asks me with wide, curious eyes.

i give a sheepish smile in response.

"come here, fishy," she murmurs, staring hard at the fish, her fingers poking at the glass wall. "i promise i won't cook you. for starters, it's impossible to get through this glass wall. i just thought of sushi because my sister eniko likes sushi and you look like you're going to be good sushi."