Rookywriters Book Reviews

Review 4 @Ivydaniels

Book: The Child of Apocalypse
Author: Ivydaniels

REVIEW

1. First chapter blues

* Summary / prologue - Summary feels a bit incomplete. I can suggest to use that little intro in the first page and add to the description. It's quite catchy.

* Intro to main character - Good intro to main character Alex.

* Intro to story - There was no formal intro to the story. The first few chapters was all about Alexy, but no idea why she has those dreams.

* Intro to genre - Good intro to the fantasy genre, with the dream theme.

2. Story Settings

* Description - There was scanty description of Alex's room and apartment. Also the offices at the police station. It is important to give an overview of what the location feels like.

* Theme - The theme of family and apocalypse worked well with the story.

* Intrigue / Suspense factor - There was practically a suspense factor in each chapter such was quite overwhelming.

* Relation to genre - Story is related to the genre.

* Time setting - There was no obvious timing in the story. You can add some timing factor so that readers we know when the story takes place.

* Character development - Your main character was fully developed. Good. The side characters like the angel, seemed to pop out from nowhere. A little backstory of who they are and what they do would be nice.

3. Story Tone

* Grammar - There are minor spelling errors which can be corrected.

* Dialogue - Dialogue was great.

* Choice of words - Your diction is good and matured.

* Chapter flow - There is no coherent flow for the first five chapters but a second the story went on it began to take shape.

* Writing voice - Good writing voice. Take your time to groom your writing. You have a captivating writing voice hidden somewhere. Don't be afraid to develop it.

4. Creativity

* Plot development - The plotting was good and was based on the characters actions. It's nice to learn some information from the characters dialogues and all, but a little story telling from chapter to chapter is important to connect the scenes together.

Example, the crest falls chapter was intriguing but we do not know why she went there? what connection she had with the animals? Or why was she chosen?

The 'Was it just a dream' chapter is little confusing too. Because Alexy went from killing a creature in the previous chapter to waking up with some prisoners in the next. How did that happen?

Apart from telling us about Alexy's side, a little background picture into the 'apocalypse story' is important.

* Writing style - Your writing style is simple. It seem like you're trying to play it safe. You don't want to write so much or too little. You're just in somewhere in between.

I will advice here, don't be afraid to write as much as you can. Write more. Then edit out the excesses.

5. Personal thoughts - The child of apocalypse is an interesting book. Remember your first five chapters are enough to keep your readers engaged or get them bored. Keep the story line together and put the characters in line with plot. Don't be in a hurry to finish a chapter. Give it your all and make each new chapter better than the last.

* Overall - I loved Alexandra character. She is very real and natural. The fantasy plotting around her was beautiful. You got a 9 out 10!

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