Rookywriters Book Reviews

Review 40 @Nkosazana23

Book: My peace
Author: Nkosazana23

REVIEW

1. First chapter blues

*  Summary / prologue - Summary is short but I guess it passed a little information. Thought its not written in a format that will attract readers. If you could add two or three more intriguing sentences it will give it a boost.

*  Intro to main character - Good intro to the main character Tasha.

*  Intro to story - Good intro to the story.

*  Intro to genre - The tussle between Tasha and Michael is interesting. Good intro to the genre, romance.

2. Story Settings

*  Description - Very good description of locations and characters.

*  Theme - Theme of broken marriage, heartbreak, betrayal, body shaming was all noted.

*  Intrigue / Suspense factor - You used the suspense factor to an advantage. It was very natural and helped push the story forward.

*  Relation to genre - Good intro to the genre, romance.

*  Time setting -  Timing was noted in the book.

*  Character development - All characters were developed and relatable.

3. Story Tone

*  Grammar - Grammar is good. But the Paragraphing system is not.

Break your paragraphs into smaller paragraphs so that it will be readable. Long paragraphing works well in books.  Most wattpaders read with their phone, so using shorter paragraphs makes reading easier.

And separate your dialogues from the paragraphs.

Example somewhere in chapter six says...

He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of the bedroom roughly and she started screaming. "Shut up!" he shouted. But she held on to the door frame and started kicking at him. "No! No! Michael!" She screamed and scratched her way out of his grip. "I am done being your punching bag while another woman gets your love!"

So this above paragraph is too jammed up.

A better way to write it will be.

He grabbed her by the arm and pulled her out of the bedroom roughly and she started screaming.

"Shut up!" he shouted.

But she held on to the door frame and started kicking at him.

"No! No! Michael!" She screamed and scratched her way out of his grip. "I am done being your punching bag while another woman gets your love!"

This is much better. Note the spacing. If you can do this for the rest of your chapters, there will be a positive difference.

*  Dialogue - Dialogues was really engaging with the characters.

*  Choice of words - Good choice of words for the story. Very mature and relatable.

*  Chapter flow - Story flowed beautifully from chapter to chapter. Nice.

*  Writing voice - You have a strong, commanding voice. Is this your first book? Do you write other stuffs?

4. Creativity

*  Plot development - Your story plotting is applaudable. You are doing a good job creating those matured characters and working their loves into the story. Good.

*  Writing style - Your writing style is professional and really engaging. The way you switch up the characters tone from emotionally drained Tasha, to a mean cold hearted Michael was done professionally.

5. Personal thoughts - Now I know why the book is titled 'My peace'. Nice concept. I love your style of writing. The way you describe Tasha's feelings and emotions is really intriguing, in contrast to Michael's mean nature, was done beautifully well.

*  Overall - You have a good fresh story. Keep it up.  You get a ten out of 10!

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