Batfamily one-shots

This is why we are banned

The normal morning route of the bat-family is often a hectic one as they all fight over the best cereal, which Dick almost always wins, and Tim hogging all the coffee. Apart from that Alfred does a pretty good job of keeping things in order, until they were forced to go out for breakfast.

Bruce was slightly annoyed at this incontinence, he had given Alfred a few weeks of to spend with his family back in England, therefore he was tasked with making sure himself and his family ate breakfast, lunch, and dinner which in itself is a hard task as no one in the family could actually cook.

So he took the best option he had, go out for breakfast which he know deeply regrets.

"Everyone into the car, we are going out for breakfast" Bruce had to order them to move otherwise none of them would have got up off their asses.

A few grumbles and an excited "Yay" from Dick was heard as they all headed to the door and proceed to put their shoes on and make there way to the car, Bruce sighed as he ran his hand down his face, this is going to be a long breakfast.

It took them over an hour to decide where to go, finally, they had decided to go with MacDonalds and unfortunately they had to park and go inside to get their food meaning some poor unfortunate souls would have to deal with his sons.

Before they even enter the building Bruce turned around and shot them all a glare, "DO NOT, and I repeat, do not do what you did in Walmart please" The boys gave each other a look of 'I won't do shit if you don't' as they headed into the restaurant.

As Bruce walked up to the register he noticed all the stares he was receiving, at this point he just wanted it to be over. When he stood in line he made sure to keep an eye on his sons, as they were trying to decide where to sit, honestly they were bickering like children.

"Move demon brat" Jason spat at Damian as he wanted to sit down already.

"Call me that again Todd and I shall proceed to slit your throat" Damian shot this back intending on starting a fight.

Before it could progress into the said fight, Dick got in the way and forced them to sit and play nice, he just wanted to eat and not deal with them as they were gained a lot of unwanted attention.

It's not every day that you see a billionaire strut into MacDonald with his insane children, lucky for them they got their food quickly so silence quickly engulfed them as they chowed down on cheap greasy food. Even if Tim wasn't happy with the coffee.

Something had to go wrong as Jason continued to kick Damian's legs under the table, and by all means, he was doing it on purpose. That is when it all when wrong.

"Todd if you kick me one more time I'm going to suffocate you" This was a threat that Damian would gladly go through with.

Jason just gave him a smug look, and a 'Thud' could be heard as Damian launched himself over the table of food and landed straight on top of Jason and proceeded to strangulate him with his bare hands.

"DAMIAN NO" Dick screamed as he studs up suddenly and try's to pry his littlest brother of his more of an idiotic brother, as bystanders watch them.

Tim made no movement to help as he sat sipping his coffee seemingly not bothered by the scene happening next to him, and Bruce looks bloody mortified as he watched his sons fight on a MacDonald's floor.

Not long after a manager came out of the back looking very nervous and looked ready to pass out at any moment.

"I'm s..orry but yo..u ar...e go..ing to n..eed to lea..ve" 

This was the best news Bruce could ask for, as Jason looked up from the floor and pushed Damian to the side, he then got all up into the mans face scoff and went.

"Who the fuck are you?"

"JASON" Bruce bellowed at him, so ready to leave.

"Sorry, WHOM the fuck are you?"

Bruce grabbed his sons and proceed to march out the doors and Tim followed behind, looking amused.

Let's just say that Bruce and his sons can't step foot into that MacDonald again.