Batfamily one-shots

I will happily launch you of a building

"Must you do that?" He snaps, not looking away from the binoculars.

"Do what, batbrat?"

Damian would like nothing better than to punch his nose right then. He takes a deep breath in through his nose instead, counting to ten as he had earlier that evening. Grayson had assured him that the practice would rid him of the urge to kick Todd in the teeth.

Grayson is a filthy liar.

He had felt confident that "no unnecessary commentary and or activity" was enough of a basic guideline for patrolling with him. It seemed that Todd had smashed through all boundaries and proceeded to be as loud and obnoxious as a human being could possibly be.

Todd is singing the Jaws theme.

Not only is it distracting, but it is also horrible singing. He has no concept of tune whatsoever, and Damian silently wonders what he did to deserve brothers who felt so compelled to share their horrendous musical tastes.

"You can't even recognize what you are supposed to be singing," he hisses under his breath, zooming in on the target.

Jason does not stop, nor is he in the least bit repentant. "It's not my fault you remind me of a great white out hunting its prey," he says with a shrug. As if that is justification for his infantile behavior!

He gives Todd a disbelieving look. Did no one value professionalism anymore or was he expecting too much from everyone? His question is answered when he resumes his butchered rendition of Jaws.

"Batman..." Robin growls over the comm link.

There are about fifty different threats that he is prepared to utter when he finally hears Grayson on the other end of the line.

He is singing Mamma Mia.

Damian makes a disgusted sound and throws the binoculars at Todd, who is actually laughing. "I am never patrolling with you again!" he mutters under his breath, shooting out a line.

He regretfully remembers that that is what he said last week too.