Smii7yxOC

Cards Against Humanity.

My nails clicked against the surface as two hands speedily handed out the cards. Not a quick process with so many. Couples were in pairs though and so there were a lot fewer cards to hand out. Cameras were dotted around as we helped four people with content.

"Right, let's go." None of the others knew of Jaren and me so we sat happy to lead the other people until it was time to let them know. I had a sneaky suspicion that they all had an idea of us.

I sat on the sofa with Jaren between my two knees. His left hand wrapped behind my leg and we stayed like that for a while. Just as the game passed, as Craig sat at my side, a Suni resting perpendicular to his body with her feet staying between our legs.

A few rounds passed and I seemed to be in an all right position. Laughs were heard and my fingers regularly found Smii7y's hair in a massage. He enjoyed it and would stay in a perfectly still position when I did so. Then it was my turn to be the Card Czar.

"I have a secret weakness for blank." They all laughed but Tyler the most. My eyes had closed just as all of the other's eyes had to. Just to keep it fair. Only when I opened my eyes Jaren had moved his hand to before me so I flinched. Out of habit. Even after all of those years.

"Heartlessness thy name art Jaren." I gave a soft shove and he pretended to be hurt. Only for the others to all tell him to grow up. Not an unexpected response.

"Right. I have a secret weakness for abusive relationships. Oof. I mean that got personal you bitches. I make one, year-long mistake and you all drag it up." They laughed but a silent realisation of the truth was heard.

"Wait. So, that video where that dude says he can't smack the black off of you was true and shit like that?" I nodded and laughed. It was like they all had to see my reaction just to make sure it was all right.

"I have a secret weakness for PUSSY!" I had shouted the last word and that seemed to lighten the mood. Perfect for what we had needed. More comments and jokes were then made and I laughed them off.

"I have a secret weakness for Mufasa's death scene. All right. Got to love that big ol' puss' getting pummeled." I felt as though I had to talk positively about them all. Though even more comments were made. Mainly by two in particular. Evan and Tyler.

"I have a secret weakness for amputees. Oh shit. That bad. Or is it good? I will just leave it there and move on." Sly and quiet sets of comments were made but we moved on for the best.

"Fuck off. Do I have to read this? No. I don't, all right fine. I will read it. I have a secret weakness for hide and seek in the attic of houses in Amsterdam. Dude, she is dead. I beg of whoever wrote and also chose that, to get help. That bad." More comments were made but we also moved on pretty quick. To stay monetized.

A few more cards were read when suddenly the last one came out. Clearly, some people had just thrown their cards away and others had given a lot of serious thought. The next one wasn't a throwaway but poorly thought out.

"I have a weakness for the Oedipus complex. This is sick." Anthony laughed the loudest and I knew whose card it was. Jokes were at their peak when I had to choose.

"I mean. These are just throws. I have the choice of a dead Jew, or her life, Pete my last proper and abusive boyfriend. Or I can pick the Oedipus complex and for me, that also means I need to have a kink for Necrophilia so I mean, they are all so bad. Screw it the amputees have to win." A few 'fuck that' responses had been made but it made sense. Clearly, the other cards were too much.

"That was an ouch to Smii7y. Pete, your last proper relationship." I ran my fingers up and down his hair as he laughed and then I got a text. It was from him.

"Why did you text me 'oof'? You could have said it. I mean, I was just a passing phase. All in all." He elbowed my leg and I laughed at his response. He suddenly stood and then I pretended to be scared. He basically fell to my lap and I had to support him.

"Your booty thicc," I commented and as I had sat on the edge of the sofa my hand was able to lift and squeeze him. He tried to act like it hadn't happened but a smile was kept back and his eyes opened wide. Looking like a deer caught in some headlights.

"I want in on it." Soon John had joined in and I let out a heavy breath. Two fully grown men were on my lap and breathing suddenly looked like a life choice, not a necessity. Then Craig and Sami joined.

"You fat fucks get off," Jaren commented and they seemed to fall off from the top and then down. Making us laugh and pack away. Not a single one of us were unoccupied as lost conversations were picked up.

"Hey. How are you?" Craig asked and I gave a nod and smile. Making him feel better but clearly, he was concerned for me. Giving a quick glance to Jaren and Sami. She had to of said something.

"A good friend of mine is hurt. She will be fine. Just a bit of a shock. Don't want to lose her." He smiled and placed a hand on my arm in a comforting way.

"Get the fuck off of her Mini. You have your own hoe. This is mine." So many things were wrong in that sentence and I loved it a little.

"You just called all females hoes and also just objectified us. How are you so bad and a Canadian? I am confusion." I plastered on the thick accent and Sami casually agreed with me. He didn't really believe what he had said.

"Well, you're mine bitch so shut up." Not a word passed my lips for a little while as my feeble attempt at not smiling took over. Then I lost it and Jaren began laughing at me.

"You could get off of me." Jaren seemed to hear me but ignore me and so I shoved him until he moved. When I got up though Jaren followed me to the kitchen in the next room along.